It's Complicated

I have a question that has been lingering over my mind for quite some time.  I am not sure if I would be able to put it in the right words, but a man gotta try, right?

Do you think that there should be any kind of restrictions on married couples when they go out with their friend of the opposite sex? or to put it more aptly would you have a problem with your wife/husband going out with an opposite sex friend for outings like movie, party, etc. more than once?  Does that amounts to infidelity even though the relationship between them is of “friends”?

I may sound naïve when I put that out, but I do believe most of the people don’t know how to handle these issues.  In a way I am trying to find an answer and a solution too perhaps…

My friend hangs out at times with a married friend of his for movies or simply hanging out.  I asked my friend if her husband knows and he replied in affirmative and I kind of find that weird.  I think anyone would find it suspicious if their partner starts going out with someone else.  I even asked the friend in question if he would be okay with such an arrangement with his future wife and he said no.

 
I can understand the part where one goes out for some work/meeting after long time but when they go out to “enjoy”, do the meaning changes? or is it because we look it in a way that is considered as “immoral”?

 
What are your thoughts on this and how a spouse could handle it in a better way? Would like to hear about it.

 

PS:  On a completely different note, I got a Cherry on Top award from Dreamygal which came as a pleasant surprise :)

Accident: #3

I almost ended up confirming my ticket to hell, which only got cancelled at the last moment with a bit of luck and a presence of mind.

I woke up in the middle of the night when the city was still sleeping and getting ready to report for an early morning shift.  The clock ticked by even as I waited to receive a missed call on my cell that would indicate that the pick up has arrived but it did not happen.  So after some time, I called up the transport supervisor who told me that the car had already left but he would call me back again to confirm it.

I decided to go down and stand on the road just in case the car was yet to arrive.  I got a call saying that the car has already reached but I could not see it, the roads were empty and there was no sound of the engine running that would indicate its presence.  It was only when I turned around and had a look at the car parked a few meters away from me that I realized that the pick up had indeed arrived with the driver sleeping inside the car.

I knocked on the window, which woke up the driver and then I got into front seat of the Indica which seemed a little shorter as the head touched the roof of the car.  I asked the driver if he could drive and he replied affirmatively.  He took his own time before he turned the ignition key and we were ready to go.  Everything was going fine until the driver took a U-turn.

I observed that the car had picked up the speed and then saw in front of us a tempo parked on the road which was small enough for two vehicles to pass through without slowing down.  The speed of the car refused to come down even as the distance between the car and the tempo was getting shorter.  I raised my voice at the driver who had fallen asleep behind the wheels.  My voice brought him back to his senses as he saw what lied ahead.  By then it was too late….

The car ended up hitting the tempo on the corner instead of a head on collision as the driver took a turn and hit the brakes.  The good thing was that I was alive and kicking and not much damage was caused.  This would not have been possible if the lower back door of the tempo which was open and down (covering the open space below it) which the car ended up hitting.  I would have  probably left this world as the level of the tempo stood at crushing my head if there was any impact minus the open lower back door.

On reaching office, the driver asked me not to report the matter, but I had little choice over there.  When others in office came to know about what happened, it was like a skeletons tumbling out of the closet. It seemed that they too had witnessed incidents of drivers falling asleep but it was never that fatal.

What happened the next day was something out of the blue.  I had again called up the transport supervisor who told me that pick-up should be arriving, only later to be called again and told that I would have to come by my own.  As I stood on the road, I saw the same driver waiting for me this time driving a bigger car like Tata Sumo.  It’s anybody’s guess on why the supervisor lied.  Needless to say I hopped on, and this time the driver was fully awake.

P.S.  I don’t blame the drivers for not getting enough sleep and ending up in accidents as they sometimes end up working 12-13hrs with the day/night difference not accounted for.  It’s for the people who handle them need to take care that they don’t end up jeopardizing the lives of other people, but who has the time to look at that.  If a driver did ended up in an accident they would simply shift him to some other place or would make sure that he doesn’t do the pick-up/drop for the same people.  It’s only in extreme cases, would they remove him.

I raised this issue with the management when feedback was being asked for transport improvement, but I only received an individually marked email from my superior appreciating my concern for raising the point.  One can guess what happened after that.

Read the comments from the previous post to the “accident” point and I must say that many people seem to read it wrong.  I did get injured but it was while riding a cycle as a kid.  I hope this clarifies it :).  The above incident is the closet that I have ever got to death.

Tagged: Seven Random Things

The breezy wind in the air brought a tag which landed on my lap send by Rohini. I have to write seven random things and am wondering where to start and what to write. After scratching my head for a long time I decided to write about instances right from birth to now except for the last one.

Here are the seven random things about me:

I When I was born, I was the only boy to be born in the hospital that day and when I was growing up, I was told by the sisterhood clan that I was adopted (that I almost believed) which I later came to know was not the case.

II I had my first crush when I was in fourth grade to a girl two years older than me, it was only later that I realized I had a crush on her. I just kept staring at her foolishly when I saw her for the first time.

III The only time honesty paid when I went to my Hindi teacher and told her that I had received more marks in the answer paper than it accounted for. She then told me to consider it was a “reward” for I have been honest enough to come forward and tell her.

IV During the first day of college, I went and sat next to second year students, made friends. It was only later that I came to know that I was sitting in the wrong class and moved to the right one, before the lecture began.

V I happened to mimicked the managers during one of the shifts as part of the celebrations carried out. The news spread like fire and the managers whom I mimicked asked me for a repeat performance. One of them actually took place in one of the rooms where the manager was conducting interviews and the other in the department with a larger audience. One should have seen the look on my face.

VI As of now I have been involved in three accidents involving cycle, bike and car. Strangely I have ended up getting badly hurt in the cycle accident. In fact I carry the scars. The cause of the accident: Over speeding and failure of brake :)

VII I like to keep in touch with people. I make it a point to stay in touch with them; with whom I share a zeal for life. I don’t understand people staying out of touch with whom they share their happier times. I can never do that. I need people around me.

The tag can be picked by anyone who think they are up for it, are you?

To Do List

I am not sure what I would do without a to-do list. Apparently I started using it when all kinds of deadlines were looming over my head. Now I cannot see my life without it. A workaholic life is pretty chaotic without it. So here I am sharing my to do list which I intend to complete:

• Getting a Tattoo (Two actually, one of the tiger that you see and another of the ying yang)

• Grow Long Hair (I would have done it earlier, but I have been warned that if I ever do it my long locks would be chopped off, still I am taking the risk)

• Keeping Beard for a year (I am pretty lazy when it comes to shaving; God only knows how I drag myself to get a shave.)

• Stop Giving Advice (I realize that most of the times people just want you to listen and don't really want to know what they should do. Still its a habit and I give it only when I think its important)

• Learning Guitar (Its been almost 6 years that I just dreamed about learning it and never came close to it. Call it a workaholic’s hazard, tend to pay little attention to life outside work. The close I came to play is an Air Guitar)

• Travel to Cambodia (I am interested in seeing those ancient temples of Angkor Wat and learn about the history. Hope to visit the place by next year)

P.S.: So do you have any to do list to share? BTW moved the Human Psyche series to the Freedom blog. It took quite a time to post the third one. Hope you like what you read.

One Night Stand

“I am leaving now. Take care”. She said and left as Vinay saw her go away. He was trying to recover from what had just happened. The sheets partially covered his naked body as he sat on the bed.

It was one of those days when Vinay was partying with his friends when he saw her sitting alone at one of the corners of the bar, having a drink by herself. He was mesmerized by her pretty cute face. He left his friends behind and sat next to the girl; ordered the same drink she was having.

They started talking, one thing led to another and then he found himself making love to her. They often meet and ended up wounding in the bed.

Today happened to be their sixth meeting. Soon after their act reached the climax, the girl looked at Vinay and told him “I think its time we stop seeing each other”. “Why was I not good enough?” He said jokingly. “I am serious. I am going to get married in three weeks and we need to stop seeing each other from now onwards”

“Marriage. You are getting married? When were you planning to tell me?” He asked. “Now” she replied. “What about us?” “There was never an ‘us’. You and I both know why we were in this” she said as she got up and started getting dressed.

“You mean, you never had any feelings for me?” he asked her as she combed her hair in front of the mirror. She looked at him and said “No never though I had a wonderful time with you” with a smile on her face.

She kissed him on his lips for the last time and said “I am leaving now. Take care” and left. Vinay sat on the bed dejected. The only thing he was left with was the feeling of being used…

Darna Zaroori Hain

I have been part of many ghost story telling groups. I loved the group for telling stories that were mostly true and about places that one knew.

My first such group happen to be the family as a kid. It was in the native place where all the children would gather and sit around the entrance of the cowshed in the dark and a cousin or sister would narrate the stories which sometimes were from books. If the story was not scary the surrounding certainly was. The native house is built in the mountains secluded where there are no neighbors nearby and sometimes the silence can be deafening.

Imagine what would happen if one has wake up in the middle of the night and has to pay a visit to the toilet which was built a few paces away from the house with a torch in hand to show the way.

The second group included building friends where we even went ahead and tried calling the spirits through the Ouija board which did not worked out sadly. I came across the third group when I started working. The stories rocked and they were of places that I knew.

We would switch off all the lights except the one where we formed a circle and used to tell stories to each other. I too told a few. One of the incidents that I recall is that after having the ghost story session, we all left for the canteen except for one girl who decided to stay back alone in the night. Sometime later we saw her running towards us; she seemed to have got scared staying alone. The men’s loo was supposed to be haunted, but I never saw anything when I was alone.

The fourth group formed when I ended up working on weekend’s night. One particular incident though had me in splits.

There were four of us from one process and two other (a guy and girl) from another who were seated away from us. They did the shifts for a long time before ours started. The girl’s workstation was next to the window and we had heard talks about her seeing someone outside window. She would never stay back alone even if the colleague went for a loo break.

The four of us started talking about ghost stories and then roped in the guy from the other process too, while the girl was at her workstation. He had a lot of personal experiences in this area. We called the girl to join too which she did later on. After sometime as the story telling came to a halt, the girl went back to her workstation. She was about to sit when the lights over her workstation flickered for a moment. The lights in the department would remain switched off except for the area where we worked was kept on (we kind of liked this arrangement instead of having all the lights switched on).

After that she ran like hell screaming “MUMMY” as we watched her coming towards us. We all were laughing while droplets of tears came out of her eyes. A sight I still remember!!

Somehow I feel that I have imbibed the principle of “Darna Mana Hain” though I do feel that one in a while “Darna Zaroori Hain”. What do you think?

P.S. The post was not sponsored by RGV, I won’t mind if he showed me the money. Thought this post would be apt after trying my hand at a horror fiction. The horror movies of today’s time suck big time.

Khauf

Charu went inside her room and felt different. She looked around but everything looked the same. She turned off the lights and lay down on the bed. Her eyes were wide open, the heart beat getting faster. She did not felt right. She looked around the room again. She had a feeling that there was someone watching her.

She would keep getting up in the middle of the night to check if there was someone around. She felt the room getting cold as she covered her body with the sheets. A minute or two later she heard a noise coming from the room. The noise kept happening in intervals which got her attention. She switched on the lights to see where the noise was coming from but could not find it. She went back to sleep as the noise died down.

She turned to her right and could see the curtains blowing away to the fan’s wind. She could see the graveyard and the cross signs through her window which stood opposite to her building. She quickly changed her position as weird thoughts started coming to her mind.

She felt asleep and when she opened her eyes again, she could see thin light emanating from outside. She got up to take a look and there was a candle burning in her living room. Sweat had started forming over her temple as she stood in her room wondering what to do next.

She gathered her courage and saying Lord Ganesha’s name moved towards the living room. The candle lit brightly as Charu approached it and found no one was there in the living room. She turned around and saw an image in white clothes with a candle in hand approach her. Seeing the sight she started screaming.

“What happened, are you all right” the image asked but she kept on screaming. The image got hold of her hand when the lights came on. She looked at the image to find her husband Vishal standing in front of her. “What are you doing here? You were supposed to be at the office” “I was not feeling well. So I came back, I knew you were sleeping so I did not call. I had the house keys with me. Are you alright?” He asked with a concern. “Yes, I am. You got me shit scared” was her reply.

As Charu followed her husband into the bedroom, she promised herself that never ever again she would watch a horror movie alone and that too late night…

Friends

 

As one moves into the work life, one realizes that the only true friends that they made were back in school and college.  In the work life, there are very few people who become your best buddies and most often than not they are give and take relationships where people find solace when they have common topic to talk about.  Chances are that once you move out of the organization, the friendship comes to an end unless kept alive.

What are the odds of five guys becoming close friends in a 250+ employees working in a single department in a 24/7 environment and that too for different process.  The chances are very rare but it happened and I was one of them.

How did it happen, I don’t have a clue but I assume it has something to do with us bumping in now and then and then going out as a group.  It started that way, one thing for sure and has continued since then.  Even though we moved in different directions the friendship still remains strong.

So let me tell a few things about them:

Friend #!:  He is the funny bone of the gang and the one who pulled the Threat SMS on me.

Friend #2:  He is sarcasm at its best and practical.  He chooses to play an underdog which baffles me.

Friend #3:  If one hears someone talking about you, one can easily predict where it came from.  He is also the one who would not commit until the last moment but still say yes.

Friend #4:  He handles everything so calmly which surprises me.  Because of him, I  wore a kurta pyajama on a traditional day something that I had never done in my entire life.  He also guided me to be at ease while dancing (I thought I had two left feet) and now I do an air guitar too.

Friend #5:  This would be me.  I am the event organizer, party planner, etc.  These days I only plan and let others handle it

P.S:  If you are wondering what prompted this post, well one of my buddies asked me the question on how we all came together and the only thing I could think of is "I have no idea......"

Writer's Block

The writer filled up the pen with the ink and took out the blank journal in front of him. He looked at the yellow pages, as he kept his hand holding the pen over it so as to fill the pages with the its ink all over it.

The hand instead of moving remained steady as if there was a conflict on what to write. The hand moved several times but the pen failed to make contact with the paper.

Finally, the pen was kept aside and the pages remained untouched as today did not seem the day to strike a conversation between the pen and the paper.

Khamosh Raat

 

Dark clouds had taken over the city hiding the full moon view.  Rohan hit the steering wheel with his palm as he got irritated over the slow moving traffic.

He switched on the radio and was telling another driver not to move his car between spaces.  The strumming of the guitar got his attention.  “Aur durr kahe roshan huya ek cherha…” brought her image in front of him.  As he listened to the song, he found himself serenading Juhi with the same song. They had been together since college days and he would often strum his guitar singing the same song every time Juhi made a request.

 
Blaring of the horns brought him back in the present.  He moved his car further and switched off the radio as he looked up at the sky.  The thundering had got louder and lighting kept flashing every now and then.

She was looking at her marriage and honeymoon photos when her favorite song was being played on the radio.  It brought back past memories alive which made Juhi tingle.

 
Four months had passed since their separation, still she had not forgotten him.  Her eyes had filled up with tears while droplets of rain start pouring down heavily outside.

Love

 

“I won’t be able to make it” Vikram said.  “Why not?” she asked.  “The flights are all booked and I will now have to book flight for tomorrow.  I’ll give you a call on when I will be arriving.  Love you” he said disconnecting the phone.

Avani got disheartened hearing the news as she kept the phone down.  She was making plans of spending the evening in a romantic candle light dinner.  Knowing that he won’t be around left her sad.

It was seven in the evening when the doorbell rang.  On opening the door she found the delivery boy standing with a bouquet of flowers with an envelope attached to it.  The bouquet was full of carnations and colorful daisy flowers which were her favourite.  She took the envelope in her hand which was addressed to her.  She opened it and found a letter which she began reading.

Dear Avani,

I remember the day when I first met you.  You had me mesmerized with your pretty face.  You were not sure of me, if I was the one, as you kept asking all the questions.  While I watched myself falling for you every time you spoke.  I kept praying; for you to say yes and when you did I considered myself the luckiest man in the world.

The morning starts with you waking me up when I don’t want to.  I miss you at work when the load gets heavy, cannot wait to be with you.  You scold me when you catch me picking up my nose.  Make me cry when you force me to watch ‘saas-bahu’ serials instead of cricket match.  Going shopping makes you so happy but leaves my feet sore.  When you speak I listen and when I speak, you doze off.  You taught me cooking so I could work on holidays in the kitchen while you take the day off.  You cook so better, but don’t talk about it in front of Mom please.

Watching you sleeping beside me, I pinch myself to make sure this is not a dream.  Your eyes reflect your innocence and your smile makes me nuts.  I love holding your hand in mine as we stroll across the beach.  Have silly fights and then making up to each other.  I love your innocence and the goodness that lies in your heart.   My world is empty without you. My heart beats for you.  I love you and want you to know that “You Complete Me”

Yours Loving Husband,

Vikram

Reading the letter, her face expression changed from curious, amused to breaking in a smile.  “He knew. He knew” is what she could think of as she picked up the phone and dialed the number.  “You knew” she said before he could say anything. “Let’s talk later. I am busy right now” he said and disconnected the phone leaving Avani in a confused state.

Before she could react, the doorbell rang and as she opened the door she saw Vikram standing at the door.  Seeing her amused look he said “You were saying” She got the wind of what was going on “You knew and you still pretended” as she hit his chest with her fist and he embraced her into his arms bringing her closer to him.  “How could I have forget?” he said as they looked at each other and she kissed him.

“You better change or we will be late” he said.  “Late for what” she asked. “Dinner.  I have made reservations at Orchid. One more thing; Happy Wedding Anniversary Wife”  “Happy Wedding Anniversary Husband” as they locked their lips for one more time.

P.S.: This turned out to be a pretty long one.  Wishing everyone a Valentine's day and hope they cherish the love they receive.  Spread the message of love :)

Darkness

 

It was Roshan’s first day to the work. As he bid goodbye to his parents, his mother asked him if he had everything he needed. He replied in affirmative and left. Walking down the stairs he could sense the excitement and nervousness in the same breath. Having his companion with him gave him confidence.

As he walked down the streets carefully, he could hear the plonking of the horns, buses & cars passing by and people talking on cell phones, to each other and then out of nowhere he got a push across his shoulder. He fell down, losing his companion not realizing what had happened.

All he could see was darkness which had been his reality since birth. He started moving his hands to find his companion, when a few people gathered around, helped him get up. One of them came forward and said “Here is your walking stick. Are you all right?” Finding his companion in his hands gave him a big relief and he thanked them.
 

Taking his steps forward, he remembered the poem “Koshish karne waalon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti”, repeating the lines in his mind as he went on his way to work with his companion showing the way.

Agni Pariksha

 

I have been trying to find a good rational explanation for ages and the ones that were made did not make any sense to me.

Do you agree that in Ramayana, Rama was right in putting Sita through Agni Pariksha to prove her chastity after defeating Ravana? Couldn’t he trust his wife’s words that she protected herself from getting harmed from Ravana?

 

Though I am aware of the various explanations that have been put forward like the Sita kidnapped by Ravana was an “image of Sita” and not her and when she passed through the burning flame, the ‘real’ Sita returned.  Also that it was necessary for Sita to pass through the Agni Pariksha to prove her purity.

I don’t quite agree with it coz when it’s taken in context with the common man. Does it mean that a man who does not trust his wife can make her go through a test to prove her faithfulness?  I know the times were different but the issue of trust is interpreted differently not they way I think most of will do.

On top of that, after clearing the “Agni Pariksha” and going back to Ayodha, she is again send on a second exile when a common man says that he is not great enough like Lord Rama to accept his wife who had lived in another man’s house.

There are various interpretations of the decision taken by Rama to send Sita on exile.  One of them is that he took the decision as a king and not as a husband.  What I fail to understand is why no attempt was made to make the public understand about the purity of Sita and that she was not unchaste as it was made out to be?  Does it not send the message across that if a man thinks that his wife is unchaste he can throw her out of the house especially without proving whether it was indeed the case?

Remember the public opinion is not always right.  If it’s the king duty to look after his people then it’s also his duty to remove any misconceptions that arose within the public.

 

If one looks from Sita’s point of view, she ended up losing her husband and paid for the crime of abduction by Ravana.  It’s no surprise that she took refuge in Dharti mata when Rama came to take her back to Ayodha in case fingers were pointed at her again…

P.S.:  If anyone has better explanation, I am all ears.

College Crush

He looked at the invite and was not sure whether he would go or not.  He wondered if she would be there too. It was five years since graduation and still Janak remembered her.

Seems like yesterday when he saw her in the third year of college in one of the classes he attended. She was seated one bench ahead and asking her neighbor who was roll no. 21 and it did came as a surprise to him when he heard her saying his roll no.  He never got to ask why as he would often catch a glimpse of her like once in a blue moon day.

He never realized when he had fallen for her.  He would often attend classes for her but she was never around.  He did found out her name but never got the opportunity to talk to her.  Time passed and the day of graduation was getting near.

Then one day as Janak collected his hall ticket from the administrative office and turned around, he saw her.  She was standing at the door, with the rays of sun falling on her making her look just perfect.  His heart beat got faster and hands went cold.  Not knowing what to do, he gave her a big smile and she too smiled back.  He just stood there as the distance between them narrowed down.

That was the last time he had seen her. As he came out of the memory lane, he had made up his mind.  He decided to go for the college reunion in the hope of meeting her again and this time taking a step forward.

The Kerala That I Know

Whenever people talk about places to travel and ask me about places to see in Kerala. I just say one thing, if you are interested in seeing temples (around Mangalore & nearby) than I can be of help to you or better ask someone else.

Most of the temples actually fall in Karnataka. Ideally my native place should have been in Karnataka but my native place ended up in Kerala because of state boundaries. I used to get mixed up a lot when traveling not knowing if I was in Kerala or Karnataka.

I have too heard about the beautiful looking backwaters, but sadly the only time I see them is in videos or in TV and often wondered why I have not been there?

Since childhood the only places that I have been to in my native place apart from paying a visit to the relative’s house (which means eating a lot of chicken) was temples. I have been to the beaches twice, the first time it being closer to the relative’s house, can’t really recall the waters, but it was a virgin beach with no one but us, a bunch of kids. The second time was a recent one which has a sad reason attached to it. Let me tell you about the Kerala that I know.

The place where Dad built a house is actually a secluded one (we have no neighbors nearby) and a road had to be built out of the mountains to reach there by car. The open space in front of the house is a big one, where I as a kid played cricket with my cousins.

Standing on the end of the open space, one could see the farms below, the water tank and on the other side the plantations and the old house at a distance which was the place in which Dad grew up.

There were three dogs guarding the house. An Alsatian, Pomeranian (which was a first to be seen in a village) and an Indian breed. The Alsatian was the favorite one and named Julie after the hit movie Julie. The funny part is that even today I don’t know the gender of the dog. All the three of them passed away years back and I believe there are two new dogs who have replaced them.

The cowshed was one of the favorite spots where we as kids used to sit outside on the entrance and listen to ghost stories told by my cousin and sister in the night. We used to get scared while going down to the old house in the dark as the only light source would be that of a torch.

I remember a very funny incident regarding the farm where I, my cousin and sister found ourselves cornered by two frogs on both ends of the only path in between the farms which was covered with water. I still remember the noise it made and the bubble that used to appear and disappear under its face. Man, we were out of our wits!!

I have an uncle who actually used to act as a guide to the group of kids every year when we came and would show us the place around. It was nothing less than a trek around the mountains and had actually came across a big ghost tree, where it was said that ghosts used to live and that it was forbidden to point fingers towards it. I also came across some perfect small holes made in mountains which my uncle said were evidence that the Pandavas had stayed there.

We would also go on a hunt for cashew nuts which used to grow in abundance. Bring the plucked ones home and roasted it. It used to be quite a feast.

The Kerala that I know is filled up with stories about ghosts, black magic and gods. Heard many stories about them from Mom which fascinates me even today. In fact, there are many stories about my Mom’s place. The house where she lived was said to be more than 100 years old. It was only recently that it was tore down and a larger house replaced it. The unusual part is that when my cousin took a snap of the house as a remembrance it came all black minus the house.

I have even witnessed the Bhuta Kola. For those who don’t know it’s the calling of the spirits who is worshiped with the Gods. During the Bhuta, the person impersonating the spirit would get possessed, drink blood from a live chicken and answers your queries.

I even had the privilege of witnessing the Kathakali dance form at the Katil temple where we had reached late night and the entry to the temple was found closed.

The roads of Kerala are something that I enjoy a lot. If you are traveling in the state run buses, don’t forget to remember God for a safe journey. I always felt like I was driving in a formula one course where the turns and slopes were steeper. Often one will find that yours is the only car that is plying on the roads when traveling in the interiors. I hope they stay like that forever.

The temple that got my attention was the Madhur temple, not much as the temple but the roads which could have easily scared anyone. The slopes were so steep that one mistake and the vehicle would find itself at the bottom. The better known temples are Dharamastala, Subramaniuam and Katil. I don’t know remember the names of other temples.

There were days when I enjoyed being a Bombayite, but the place has undergone a major change with everyone carrying a cell phone and Mangalore getting hip. Telling that I am from Bombay does not evoke the same response as it was years back.

The strangest thing I find is seeing my childhood pics, my family photos at a relative’s house which I never visited more than once. One of the relative’s houses I visited left me dazed with cupboards full of awards and trophies. I had never seen a sight like that. The relative was an accomplished footballer and cricketer. On my second visit, the person was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease and I felt anger inside me when I heard his son-in-law talked about giving those trophies and awards as junk and only retaining the big ones once he passed away. Some people just don’t know how to appreciate individual efforts!!

I do find myself in a language barrier as I grew up speaking Hindi, have no clue how that happened. No wonder my command over the native language is not very polished. I don’t know Kannada & Malayalam (though I do understand few) which more or less helps to travel around places in Kerala & Karnataka too.

Kerala reminds me of memories which I have cherished most as a child. Those were some days!!

P.S. I was suppose to publish this post long back but better late than never.

LIFE

Note:  This post can be a bit boring.  So if you want to quit, do it now.  Do check the last lines before getting out of here.

It is so strange that even though the blog title refers to life, not a single post has been written on life.  Today, I am going to write one.

Observing life and experiencing it has taught me so much that I think, I can become a philosopher or a motivational speaker.

My personal favorite is of becoming a saint.

Life has always intrigued me.  My own and other people lives too.  I always wondered what it meant.

Childhood is one of the best stages of life.  As a child, everything we do evokes joy and no amounts of punishment takes away that mischievous smile from our face.  No wonder we all want to be a child again.

Being a curious child, I always asked questions (like the Paresh Rawal from Judaai) and sometimes answer question with a question.  What bothers us most are the questions of which answers we cannot find.  Then there are times when we ask the wrong questions.  Only time will provide us with an answer if there is one.

As we grow up, we realize that life is not all about having fun, it does have its share of suffering too.  We suffer from our own negative thoughts, our needs and wants, from others and the society.

Everything that we want comes down to a choice that in itself  is not easy to make.  A choice in living the life we want or let others dictate.  Choice between freedom & responsibility.

We all have our little desires of what we want in life.  It fills us with a sense of accomplishment & joy when we do achieve it.  Then its time to wish for a new desire and make it happen.

Fear at times makes us do things that we regret later.  This happens when we are uncertain/desperate about achieving our goals.

We fear when we are not prepared, not willing to accept decisions that go against us.

Not everyone dreams comes true plunging them into the dark or take the lonely path in search of their own self where they would rise again from the ashes.

If things don’t work out we term it as failure.  The reality is sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t but calling it failure is a mistake.  We fail to see what we have learned.  Failures are practice shots for success.

Life is about what you make out of it.  The hard part of life is accepting the truth which comes in many forms and the easy part is to live life like there is no tomorrow.

I have realized that life is not a mystery, we are.  We come to know more about ourselves as we move ahead.  We live an adventurous life but seldom do we realize that.

In the end what matters is the journey and not the destination…..

Last Lines:  Wishing you all a belated Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year :)

The Letter

Ayan was going through the stack of paper from his drawer, when a photo fell on the ground. He bends down to pick up the photo which landed on the wrong side. Picking it up, he saw himself and Jhanavi in a traditional Kashmiri outfit, sitting on a yak and smiling gleefully in the picture.

Looking at the picture brought back all the memories of Kashmir and the fun they had. Among the stack of papers, he began to search and found holding a letter in his hand. A letter he had written to Jhanavi.

He read the letter again. He had expressed his love for her and what she meant to him. He had thought of giving her the letter by slipping it on her bed side table on the eve of her birthday. So that it would be the first thing she would read it in the morning.

What he did not anticipated was the turn of events the day before. He reached his home in the evening only to find it empty. On the table, a letter was kept with his name on the top. As he read the letter, he found himself shattered and heart broken.

Jhanavi had left the house and in the letter she revealed her love for another man and hoped he would understand...

Marriage Talk

This is one of my favourite topics that I like to read/know about. I guess it was from the time that I was a teenager that the “arranged marriage” system intrigued me.

I know someone who said “yes” just because she thought that she might not get good proposals after a ‘certain age’. I even ended up writing an uncompleted story on the arranged marriage.

I have came across posts few weeks back that was dedicated to the same topic. I have seen girls worry, wondering if the one they are marrying is the right choice. Not came across any guys until a few weeks back, my friend made me wonder about that.

Whenever I spoke to this friend, the topic would get diverted to “Marriage” and I was wondering what was wrong. I asked him but the answer never came. The last phone call cleared the air.

He called up and the first question that was put to me was “When are you getting Married? (Reminded me of my post). I was like after you. It was then a volley of questions were directed at me like “Whether you would go for someone working or not and why?” and other similar questions.

For a moment, I thought I was the one being scrutinized and wonder if my friend was trying to play a matchmaker. After a lot of prodding, the beans were spilled out.

He was on the process of seeing marriage proposals and this was his way of having a discussion on the subject. The discussion went further until my friend felt that he knows what he needed.

In an arranged marriage system, I don’t understand the traditional setup of a boy meets girl in the presence of families. After a supposedly 10 min or more talk they are required to take a decision of their life time. If they are lucky, they might get a chance to meet again to see their compatibility.

Even today, most of the families are not open to informal meeting between the boy and girl where they can talk & discuss openly. Which I think should be the norm On the top, a boy can go on to see as much more than 10 girls to decide his life partner but a girl (in some communities) cannot do the same and if she does, she gets stereotyped. Does this represent the so-called modern society of India?

I am not sure if this approach will change in the coming years but the mindset has to. As for my friend, I wished him luck for his search who is also seeking divine intervention like matching horoscopes.

Looking Out

 

People walking down the road, vehicles passing by was the view Shimir saw outside his window.

The calmness on his face hid the turmoil from within. For a moment being isolated from the world into his own gave him the sense of tranquility that he was trying hard to seek.

The calling of his name brought him back to the reality. He turned around and started pushing his wheel chair forward...

P.S.: In case you are wondering why a lot of fiction lately, its because I have not been able to jot my thoughts in a better way. Hope that changes. I have also created a new social blog called Freedom Expression (do check it out) and am experimenting with Twitter too :)

My Friend Ganesha

“When will Ganesha come to our house” the four year old Shreya asked her mother innocently.

“Ganesha lives in the sky, he cannot come to our house” her mother replied. “He is my friend, I want to play with him” she persisted.

Her mother looked at her and tried her best to make her understand that Ganesha is not seen by the humans and that’s why we worshipped him in the form of idols and pictures. “I want to play with Ganesha” Shreya kept repeating.

The father who was sitting on the sofa nearby, lost behind the newspaper was roped in by the mother to explain the absence of Ganesha.

“He is my friend and I want to play with him” she retorted as her father made his attempt. “How can he be your friend, have you met him or seen him?” questioned her father. “No” Shreya replied with her head down. “How will he come to your house now if you have not met him or invited over?” The question was met with a silence. She went back to playing with her doll lying on the floor.

The cell phone rang which the father picked up and hung up after a few minutes. “Who called up?” Shreya asked from a distance. “That was my friend Ganesh” he replied.

“Ganesha a friend of yours?” she asked her father who on realization gave a puzzled look and the mother broke into a laughter.

Come Back

Jigna moved her hand on the other side of the bed and on finding nothing started moving her fingers up and down. Quickly she opened her eyes to see that there was no one else on the bed.

She came out of the room looking here and there when light emitting from the hall caught her attention. Curiously, she moved towards the hall only to find the door ajar. The house was searched and there was no one’s presence except hers. She panicked, grabbed the house keys and went downstairs.

Jigna ran outside in the middle of the night and found her standing at the gates of the building. “Mom, what are you doing here?” she asked her mother, who was dressed in a sari and her long hair open. “I am waiting for you Dad. He told me he was going to come” she replied.

“He is not going to come back, he is gone”. She tried telling her but she won’t listen. “Okay, let’s wait for him at our home” Jigna told her mother and took her back to home. She had managed to put her mother to sleep and still somehow sleep eluded her.

Tears kept flowing through her eyes as she looked at her mother sleeping peacefully. She took out the newspaper cutting from the side table and looked at it for a while.

It was the obituary of her father who had passed away a year ago, still her mother longed for him to come back.

Tagged: With An Award

 


Sunil gave away the award which took me by surprise. Thanks for the award Sunil.

The award comes with a tag which as usual took a long time as I was scratching my head for the answers. This is what I could up with:

1. What is your current obsession?

I, me and myself

2. What are you wearing today?

Now, T-shirt and shorts

3. What's for Dinner?

Chicken dish

4. What are you listening to right now?

Pardesi from Dev D

5. What do you think about the person who tagged you?

Someone with a sense of humor, a book lover and likes to click pictures. Knows what he wants from life.

I hope I did justice :)
 

6. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

An unexplored remote island like the one found by Robin Crusoe.

7. What are your must-have pieces for summer?

Nothing (if its clothes related). Living in Bombay means a long summer except when the rain decides to cool the place.

8. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

Taj Mahal & Angkor Wat, Cambodia

9. Which language do you want to learn?

Sanskrit, Kannada, Malayalam

10. What's your favorite quote?

Don’t have any favorite as such but for now I like this one:

“If we act out of fear and not hope we get bitter and not better”

— Jesse Jackson

11. Who do you want to meet right now?

My naatku niece

12. What's your favorite colour?

Light Blue

13. What is your favorite piece of clothing in your closet?

Black T-Shirt with a White Tiger image

14. What is your dream job?

I have two dream jobs

1) To own a media production company, shoot short films and produce TV shows something on the lines of the Alva brothers or may be different.

2) Entrepreneur.

15. What's your favorite magazine?

Reader's Digest.

16. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?

I would probably save some and spend the rest on clothes.

17. What do you consider as fashion faux pas?

Govinda’s fashion statement

18. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?

Megan Fox, her face looks odd and the ‘sexy’ tag puts me in a mystery.

19. What kind of haircut do you prefer?

The one that makes me look good

20. What are you going to do after this?

Take a nap.

21. What are your favorite movies?

This puts me in a tight spot. I have a long list of them and don’t remember names of the few. So here is what I could recall.

Hindi:

Bombay to Goa, Amol Palekar & Hrishikesh Mukherjee Movies (don’t remember the names), Andaz Apna Apna, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na, Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar, Dil Chatha Hain, Lakshya, Hyderabad Blues, Teen Deewarien, Nayak, Taxi No. 9211, Ek Chalis ki Last Local, Dev D 13B. There are a few others that I am missing out on.

English:

Remember the Titans, Ron Howard movies, Die Hard Series, Stranger than fiction, Terminator Returns, 1408, Ed TV, Hero (Dustin Hoffman), Kill Bill series, Freedom Writers, Harry Potter series, Enemy at the gates, The Bucket List, Bourne series, Monster House, Sixth sense and many more.

22. What are three cosmetic/ makeup/perfume products that you can't live without?

Shaving kit does the trick (That too I use because I don’t want to scare away people)

23. What inspires you?

The ability to make a difference.
 

24. Give us three styling tips that always work for you:

1) Be Yourself

2) Smile, always works

3) Wear what looks good on you, not what you think

25. Coffee or tea?

Tea

26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?

I eat, call someone, surf the net, walk or jot down those thoughts.

27. Which other blogs do you love visiting?

The ones on my Blogroll and Google Reader.

28. Favorite Dessert/ Sweet?

Anything that tastes good.

29. Favorite Season?

Rainy season.

30. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?

Won’t snacks do? I can cook an omelet and toast some bread.

31. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?

Give them something back that they were not prepared for.

32. What are you afraid of the most?

Fear of fear.

33. My question (Borrowed from Sunil): Funniest one-liner you've ever heard?

That I should get a degree/award for being a “Friend of Lovers”.

I pass on this award & tag to Meena, Grayquill, Rakesh, Shruti & Mad Alpha Moggie for having such wonderful blogs.

Revenge: The Solution?

I was watching the news, when I came across this (see below) and surely the media channels are falling to a new lows in an attempt to report news.

I am not sure if anybody talked to the boy about what he is saying and shows complete lack of apathy from the channel side which goes on to flash news about the boy's vow for revenge.

One can understand the plight of the child who lost his father but trying to cashing on it by covering his admission of revenge is something I think could have been avoided given the situation and the emotions involved. What does a seven year old know about revenge?

It's time that we have media watchdogs, so that such incidents are reported and taken off the air instead of showcasing the lack of sensitivity!!

Am I Fat?

“Am I looking fat” she asked as she kept looking in the mirror and then looked towards her mother. The mother gave her a glance and said “You are looking fine”

“You never say anything right” she said and went inside to try another of her dresses to see if they make her look fat.

Came out like she was doing a ramp walk and again the same question, the answer no different than the earlier one. “Why does she say I am looking fat?” “At least I am not fat as he is, look at his bloating stomach and his ass looks bigger than mine”

I found myself at the center stage and was puzzled with the attention. I kept quiet as I did not mind them and that should have put an end to the debate.

That was not meant to be...

Few days later a cousin dropped by and all the girly talk began. I kept listening as I had nothing better to do. I lost track of the conversation when I was talking with my aunt and then I heard the same game being played “No, you are fat, look at you” as they talked and giggled. Then it happen.

“Look how fat he has become” one of them said as their eyes went scanning each part of my body and then zeroed on my stomach. “Yeah his tummy is coming out like a pregnant lady” they said and laughed again.

I maintained a stoic silence on my physical changes and decided to get even by talking about how fat she is going to become after marriage (I have seen that happen) and that she should watch out. I thought that would put an end.

But it just refuses to die down.

Weeks later, another sister came who had lost weight that she had put on and was flaunting that fact to her. Then she went on to tell her how fat she has become.

I was working on the computer when I heard this conversation taking place as it happens my name too was dragged in “who is the fattest” list. I realized that I was being used as a decoy so that she could feel that she is slimmer than someone, in this case me.

After that whenever the fat issue comes in, finger are pointed at me like I am a specimen in some lab of what happens when you gain weight.

I know my tummy has started to resemble a 2-3 month old pregnant lady but I am okay with it and don’t have any issues. People around me seem to make a big deal about it.

Just to remind you, I never asked the question but am still getting the answers that someone else should have…

Not the end of the story though; now even Mom has taken upon herself to tell me that I have become fat.

I don’t think this will end unless I lose some weight which I will anyway.

P.S. I know you must be giving your imagination a push but the truth is I could have explain them scientifically that if a tall man gains even a few pounds one tends to look fat.

Will they listen? Naaah…. (nor shall you I guess)

As for the tummy, it has become too lazy to go back to its original place. The least thing that I want is to end up like this.

From Real to Reel Love

Why is it so difficult to find someone to fall in love?

It seems that everyone around me is falling in love with the exception of me. Even the people one thinks would find hard finding love would find it and that would lead me to ask the question “What about me?”

I somehow believe that one should fall in love at least once to know what it takes to work and how it feels to be in love. Its easy to love the close ones unconditionally but how does one fall in love with a stranger and then decide to spend their lives together. What makes them know that this what they were looking for?

I have my share of crushes, love and heartbreaks (which are nothing but a figment of my imagination). When I look around I often find that someone not meeting my requirements (I don’t have any; but they come up mysteriously).

I am wondering whether the gals have stopped reading the Mills & Boons books.

Yes, I am that tall, dark (not dark but will tan do?) and handsome guy (I consider myself so) that every girl used to dream of. Nowadays nobody seems to read it given the poor response that I receive and plus I have to decide whether I should let someone be a pain in my neck or let the other one bear the pain for me. Read this post to know.

Whenever I see some pretty faces on the idiot box, I ask myself why don’t I meet such girl in real life or is that the reality in which I am living is different?

Here is a list of them:

I saw her first time when she had the character name Zoya (I like that name) and she had caught my eyes attention even though she was not the central character of the show. Any chance of me going on a date with her?

Most of the discovery that I made happen, when I was forced to watch the serials by my family. Well what could I do, I do belong to the minority league.

When I saw her, I was in awe of her. She is beautiful. I though find myself skeptical whether I would go out with her. I don’t feel that vibe or connection. What do you think?

She is cool, that’s what I think about her. I would look forward to go out with her. Do you think she will say yes to me?

I was surfing the channels when I spotted her. The first thing that came to my mind was what was she doing here? She was talking about stock prices, figures indicating the health of financial companies. I am not the one who is hooked on to business channel to know how up the sensex have gone or fall (our sensex apparently is a very sensitive one; even a news of a probable earthquake would rattle off a few stock prices).

When I saw her, I saw myself falling head over heels. I am wondering at my chances of going out with her. Considering she might have a long waiting list of guys, who would like to go on a date with her.

Every guy dreams of girl without brains but beauty. Not me, I find myself running in opposite direction when they approach me. This was another “find” by me when I saw her showcasing her skills of playing a dumb character but at the same time I found her cute (Did I use that word?, I hate someone telling me that). She came across as innocent and honest about herself, that’s what I like about her. I think I would like to know her better.

I did found someone who I liked. I met her in the theatre for the first time and almost found myself falling for her. I loved everything about her but yes I did prefer her to have more common sense. I again went to the theatre to see her again. She charmed me all the way. She brings a smile to my face and makes me laugh. What more could I ask for?

Perhaps I could turn her from being a character role to a person in real life. Wondering who that mystery lady is? Here is a glimpse of her.

BTW, just to clear the air I did not send her the solitaire wedding ring she received. :((

P.S. This list is a part of a list which is quite exhaustive :)

Regressive Indian Television

My family thinks I should have been born in a foreign land and that I have mistakenly born in India. The reason I watch too much of English movies and soaps. I don’t think I am responsible for that.

If anyone watches the Indian television soaps, one would come to a conclusion that men in India just don’t exist. All the soaps are aimed at women and the men are supposed to stick to sports, news, business (if they have stock investment) and yes of course discovery and national geographic channels if their interests lies in science and nature.

There is hardly any kind of show on the Indian television which caters to the need of the men. I don’t think that leaves me with much of a choice except to watch Hollywood movies and soaps which does not show any kind of bend towards gender.

Only one channel probably comes close that has been able to cater to the needs of the youth in form of reality shows, this does sound a bit of irony considering the fact that the highest percentage of age group population is the youth in India and there is nothing on the television that caters to their need.

I do consider myself lucky that when I was growing up, there were some great soaps on the Indian television with messages and everything shown in a positive way.

The Sundays have never been the same as they were back in the old days which started with Rangoli and ended up with watching Ramayan/Mahabharat which would have the whole family glued to the television set and streets would be empty. I don’t think that is a sight I will ever see again.

There were so many great shows like Giant Robot, Malgudi Days, Nukkad, Vikram aur Betaal, Bharat Ek Khoj, Rajani, Fauji, Param Vir Chakra, Byomkesh Bakshi, Circus, Surbhi and many more that I watched as a kid. Cable channels too had some good soaps in the beginning!

I am still clueless how the Indian television which had such a great start came to a point that regressive soaps replaced it and the only thing that one could imagine is that a women’s past time is to hatch plans against her family on flimsy grounds for personal gain.

As for the men they are reduced to side actors or helping the women in their plots. We are supposed to call ourselves a modern India yet the Indian television represents an orthodox, conservative mentality that should have been best left in the past. I am not really sure if people understand how powerful the television can be in influencing human minds.

Just consider this as an example; Nitish Bhardwaj who played the famous role of Krishna in Mahabharata was treated like God when he visited villages for campaigning elections this was at a time which the reach of the television was still limited to the cities. One could only imagine the kind of influence it would have on the thinking mentality today when these regressive serials reaches in the living rooms of the rural people with a belief that if its on TV then it must be true!!

Why is there such a gross misrepresentation of the modern society in the Indian television? What is funny that all this is done saying that the audience demands such content and that’s why they show it. Do they really think that one can make a fool out of the audience not knowing what kind of crap is being showed? The makers of such shows do seem to live in a different reality.

In a bid to garner the highest TRP’s for the show, they sometimes give the shock effect. Remember the character Mihir Virani (Remember the Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi serial) coming back to life after a public outcry. I am still wondering what kind of audience that would be who would sit and watch crap serials like this.

Off late reality shows seems to be the new fad, with every channel coming out with its own reality show. Reality shows like KBC, Dus Ka Dum are good but some of the reality shows are shown with an attempt to show how low one contestant can fall with all the twisted kind of tasks put in.

To be honest, living life is nothing short of battle that we all go through and at the end of the day; I don’t think anyone would like to watch the same thing over and over again. Unless these reality shows have a point to prove they won’t have a future!!

Who decides to telecast such soaps? They are the guys who apparently have a master’s degree against their education qualification and approve such “narrow-minded” shows that are aired on the channels. For them, TRP’s seem to be more important than showing good content. What I don’t understand how good content can be considered overrated that regressive serials are favored over them?

Though there have been a few exceptions where certain shows have come out with a social motive. I hope that others (makers of the serials) too understand that nothing attracts the viewer’s attention than good content.

Yes, last but not the least, do make serials for the younger generation too and yes men do watch the idiot box when they are at home, so please if anyone is planning to make a show keep that in mind...

BTW, came across a trailer of a new reality show which is nothing short of sadism at its best. Its about couples taking care of a babies. Here is the clip. I think that this should be banned and wonder what kind of parents give away their child to strangers just to earn a few bucks?

This is what we call entertainment?

P.S. Doordarshan channel recently completed 50 years of telecast. I miss those old days!! Koi lauta to woh bete huiye din :((