Being Anonymous

I have been holding on to this blog for quite a while now and yes it makes me reminisce about the time when I start blogging and making me realize that I have come a long way as I have grown with my blog getting older….

One of the things that I do end up doing these days is help people draft mails, sometimes to write stinker mails or to reply one :)

Many a times, I wondered if I should be there out in the open along with my fellow bloggers who have been blogging with their real identities and not hiding behind a pseudonym like I do.

When I started, I used an alias probably to test the waters and not get in conflict with people about whom I sometimes have blogged about. Those who have been following the blog must have come across me change my pen name quite a time until I found an apt nick name the “Tall Guy”

In real life too, I have more than one name. My real name is unknown to many of my relatives, friends and neighbors around whom I have grown up and the irony is that despite telling my name to people, they come up with their own version of what I should be called. People who do know my real name don’t know about the other :)

I did give a lot of thought of coming out of the closet though I have nothing to hide (hope you are not able to read my mind).  Probably letting people around me know that yes I can write and yes have my own space on the internet whose rights only belongs to me.

Then again, the benefits of being anonymous outdoes of being known.  The ability of people judging your post basis of what you wrote instead of who you are. May be I am thinking too much about it inside my head but that’s the way it comes to me. It’s what you write that connects you to others.

Somehow letting go of this identity does not come easy to me and I don’t think I will be doing it at least for now. Though the thought does come to my mind from time to time.

Wonder if other anonymous bloggers have given a thought about it. Please do share your thoughts.

P.S. It came as a surprise that the blog is six and half years old and probably one of the things that I have stick too for such a long time.

I did though published an e-book of short stories that was well-received and surprised many :)

Rain Drops

Rajan rolled down his car window as it came to a halt at the traffic signal. The wind gushed across his face as raindrops touched his face. 

His car engine roared into action as the signal turned green and cruise the empty roads in the night. He reminisced about the night when he and Madhu were together on such a night.

They were into each other arms, kissing even as the taxi they were in kept moving Their passion kept them oblivion to the outside world as they kept looking into each other and whispered “I love you”.

When the time came to depart, he held her palm as she made her way outside the car. Their eyes showed their desire to be together but they went their separate ways. It was a night Rajan knew he will never forget.

As he parked his car he looked at Madhu sitting next to him who had fallen asleep during their journey.

He looked at her for a while, leaned towards her and kissed her on the lips that woke her up. 

“What was that for?” she asked him. He said “We are home” he said and got out of the car with a smile on his face.

The Perfect Crime — IV

Rock music was blaring through the speakers when the doorbell rang. A man in his white shorts and black t-shirt opened the door to find police standing outside. “Sumit Sadh stays here? The inspector asks as and as the guy nodded his head, he informed him to open the door.

They walked towards the room from where the music was coming to find him smoking in the balcony with a glass of vodka kept on the side table and sitting on wooded chair watching the outside view.

The silence of music caught his attention and as he turned over he found them standing next to him. “You are under arrest; you will have to come with us. Constable, handcuff him” the inspector ordered “You cannot do this. Let me know what I have done wrong” he screamed and reasoned with them but they took him along.

Sumit was sitting on the chair in front of Sushil’s desk waiting for his arrival as a constable nearby kept watched over him. Moments after, Sushil walked inside and said “Hello, Mr. Sumit, how are you?” as he sat on his chair.

Sumit looked furious and said “Why am I being arrested. Can you let me know? I have already informed you that I have not done anything”. Sushil looked at him and said “Are you being honest with me. You really don’t know why you are here. Do you really want me to tell you why you are here? 

Their eyes glared into each other as Sumit looked at Sushil and said “Yes I want to know”.

“Okay, so you want to have it this way then so be it” said Sushil as he got up. “You might remember, we had called you for questioning for the murder of Chaitra Raghavan, don’t you?” Sushil looked at him as he leaned over the desk and Sumit nodded his head.

“We got you under arrest for killing Chaitra Raghavan”. “What proof do you have that I have killed her?” asked Sumit. “I knew you were going to ask that, so evidence number one you knew Chaitra and we have your friend’s statement to corroborate it.

“That does not prove that I killed her”. “I know. I am going to present evidence number two. We have text messages to prove that you were in touch with her and that you had spoken to her on the day she was murdered”. He looked at him and asked him “So you still believe that you are innocent or I should provide more evidence to you”

Sumit kept quiet as he looked other way moving his gaze from Sushil. “You still think that we do not have enough proof to nail you” he said as he walked away from him. “We know that you were blackmailing her” He turned his chair around looked him into his eyes and asked “Do you still say that you did not killed her?” he paused and said, “Come on answer me. Answer me, dam it” as he raised his voice.

Silence crept in as tension got built up in the room with Sumit looking down as Sushil waited for a response.

“Yes I killed her”. Sumit said slowly as he moved his head up and looked towards Sushil. “She was going to tell Milind everything and I did not want that to happen. I killed her by putting poison in her tea”.

“You did not want the money to stop coming through her. Am I right?” Sushil thundered as Sumit nodded his head and said yes.

“Take him to the cell”. He said to the constable standing in the room. As Sumit was taken away, Constable Shankar announced the arrival of Milind. 

“Bring him in”. Sushil apprised him of the events that unfolded and that led them to Sumit Sadh, killer of Chaitra. “The vital clue was provided by the landlord who confirmed to see her and overheard about talking about pictures” “Photos? Which photos? Asked a puzzled Milind.

Sushil face got grim as he looked over at Milind and said “He had shot obscene photos of her during their college days and was blackmailing her”. Taken aback, he moved back and said “She never told me of any such thing about blackmailing. Was she in a relationship with her and he made use of her? He asked.

“We still have pieces of evidence to tie up together and at this moment we cannot be certain if she was aware or unconscious when the photos were taken. We have arrested him and will make sure that he does not see the sunlight for a very long time”.

As Milind thanked him and left, Constable Shankar asked Sushil “Sir, how did you know which Sumit Sadh was the killer as they both knew her”. “That was not very hard once it came down to two individuals. We just needed to find out their whereabouts when Chaitra was murdered and everything fitted. The phone details also helped. That nailed our guy in glasses. 

“Remember one thing, there is nothing like a perfect crime” Sushil said as he gave a spin to the paper weight and it keep on spinning.

The Perfect Crime — III

Inspector Sushil was sitting at his desk having his morning tea when he heard an old man approaching him with anger and asking him “How could you let him go? He killed my only daughter. How could you let him go? I need an explanation thundered the man as Sushant stood beside him and as Sushil looked towards him, he said “I tried to stop him, but he would not listen” displaying his helplessness.

“Sir, please have a seat” Sushil gestured politely through his hand. As the old man in his checks shirt and trousers took a seat adjusting his glasses. “May I ask who you are and whom you are talking about? He asked him.

“Myself, Vishnu Iyer and I am the bereaved father of Chaitra who was killed by Milind and you let him go knowing that he stabbed her with the knife three times!!” He thundered as Sushil looked at him.

“Sir, please calm down. I know that you are upset thinking we let your daughter’s killer go away but that’s not the case.” “Your daughter had died before he could kill her as per the forensics reports. He was not at home at that moment and we have witnesses and proof that corroborate that”

“Are you trying to say that my daughter killed herself?” he questioned him. “It does look that way but we are not ruling out murder as we could find any evidence of the poison in the house. The watchman of the society also confirmed that he had seen Chaitra going out and then coming back to her home. CCTV footage of the building also confirms it. We checked all the house items for poison and did not find any. In fact when we checked the house, there was no sign of food being prepared”

Tears had filled up in Mr. Iyer’s eyes as he looked towards Sushil and he offered him solace before leaving him outside the police station.

Milind was taking out clothes of Chaitra from her cupboard and putting it in the suitcase as was informed to him by her father to give away all that belonged to her to them.

He noticed the drawers and opened one of them to find it full of accessories to her clothes. There was another drawer wherein he found a dairy.

He found the letters that he had written during their courtship days which took him down the memory lane as he recalled the times of their blissful relationship. As he moved to keep it back in its place, the dairy slipped through his fingers and fell on the ground.

As he picked up the dairy, he noticed the scribbling of mobile number along with date mentioned against it which was a recent one

Chaitra had an unusual habit of writing down dates against anything she wrote so that it gave her a recollection of what it was intended for when she used to forget.

Milind dialed the number but he received the message that the number is out of service. He wondered to whom the number could have belonged and if it could have any connection to her death.

He called up Suhil and informed him about the mobile number scribbled in her dairy. Sushil made a note of it and informed he will get back to him.

Few days later Milind was informed to visit the police station. Sushil greeted him as he approached his desk and he gestured him to have a seat.

“We did a check on the mobile number provided and found that the number was registered under the name of Sumit Sadh but the residential address provided turned out to be fake. So do you know any one named Sumit Sadh? He asked Milind as he looked on.

The name did not ring a bell in his mind. “I don’t know it could be Chaitra’s friend, but I have never heard the name before”. “Not a problem. We are checking with her office, family and friends, I would suggest you also do and if you know her online accounts like Facebook then provide us the login details to check for details”.

“Yes, I will. I don’t remember her login details but the login details are saved in our browser. I’ll message them to you once I am at home”

Milind was looking at his laptop monitor screen as the webpage of the social network loaded. The autofill dropdown list provided him with her login details and as for the password they used to keep common passwords just in case. 

He tried the password and it worked. He went to the friend’s list and put up the name Sumit Sadh but there was no name reflecting. He tried putting the first name and then the last name but the result remained the same.

He tried other sites too but the result remained the same. He decided to get in touch with her friends from her school, college and at office but they were of no help. No one could recollect the name not even her closest friends.

Inspector Sushil also did his bit and was unable to find anyone who knew Sumit Sadh. The case had come to a dead end.

Sitting at his chair, Sushil was sipping his tea when the constable came in and said “Sir, this is Vivek Nair. Dressed in formal trousers with glasses over his eyes he moved forward to shake hands with Sushil and sat down.

Sushil explained Vivek, a computer hacker with skills about the mystery surrounding Chaitra’s death and informed him that they were unable to trace the person online and required his technical expertise to do so. “Would you be able to help if she knew anyone by that name online” asked Sushil.

“Surely we would, provided you have her login details of various social sites. I can run a check on her list of friends and their friends to check if anyone knew him and that way we would be able to know if they were directly linked to her or she came to know him through common friends”

“How long would it take to find out?” “Give me a couple of days, as I will have to do create an application to do the search. You share with me her login ids and I will let you know”.

A few days later, Milind was summoned to the police station. Vivek was already there with Sushil as he joined them in the midst of their conversation.

“Have a seat, Milind. We were discussing about the results that Vivek has filtered out”. “Have we got the killer?” Milind asked anxiously. “Not yet but we have narrowed down the suspects. Vivek, if you could explain”.

“As per the login details that you shared, I created a crawl search that would check for two attributes that in this case would be the first name and the last name. It will check for social network friends and then search if their friends list includes the name. That way we will come to know if she knew anyone by that name through common friends”

Both Vivek and Sushil were trying to read Milind when he asked “Any luck then….” Vivek looked at Sushil who nodded his head and then he said “The search has narrowed down four names that needs to be looked into”. “We need to have them checked. Meanwhile we decided to show you the list first in case if you know any of them” Sushil said looking towards Vivek. Vivek showed Milind the profile and photos on his laptop. “You think, you know any of them?” Sushil asked.

“No. I have not seen them” Milind retorted. Sushil gave a grim look and said “That put us in a tight spot as we were hoping that you will be able to identify at least one of them that would lead us to the killer”

“I would have if I had seen them but never saw them once” Milind replied even as Sushil looked at him taking a note of his response. As Milind looked at Sushil, he looked back moved back on his chair and said “I guess we will have to then question her friends. Thank you for your time. You can leave”

Vivek saw Milind leave and then turned towards Sushil and asked “Do you really think that he is not the killer?” He looked at him and said “In our profession, everyone is a suspect, till we find the culprit”.

“Yes, he used to live here but a few months back he left as we gave the place to rent to another family” said the moustache bald guy who looked at the photo shown by the constable. “Do you know where he stays now?” he asked. “No, he was living with a friend but never gave the address but I do have his number you can check with him. The constable made a note of the mobile number read out by the landlord reading out through his handset.

He called up Sushil “Sir, Constable Shankar here. I have checked with the landlord with regard to the details of Sumit Sadh. He does not live here anymore but he has his number which he has given to me.” “Good job, sms the number to me” Sushil said and hung up the phone.

Sushil looked at the two details of  Sumit Sadh kept on his table and kept spinning the paper weight in his fingers as he wondered who the real culprit would be.

“Can you please let me know why I was asked to come down here?” a guy in spectacles in a blue shirt asks the constable as he sat on one of the side benches inside the police station. “Wait for sir to call you” the constable said and went away.

A short guy with a protruding belly walked in wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. He had a word with the constable nearby and was guided towards the man sitting on the bench. As he approached, the other guy sitting watched him coming over and sits next to him. 

He looked here and there for a while and saw the guy in spectacles next to him. “You are here to file a complaint?” he asked. “No” he replied. “What are you doing then?” he queried as he kept shaking his left leg. “I was summoned here but don’t know why.” “Me too” pat came the reply. “I am Sumit Sadh” sad the guy in spectacles as he move his hand to shake hands. The short gut stared into him and said “my name is also sumit sadh as he slowly moved his hand to meet him mid-way.

Time had come to a standstill as they both wondered if they were there for the same reason. One by one, they both went in Sushil’s cabin and came out after spending quite a time inside.

Constable Shanker stepped inside his cabin and said “Sir, this file of the theft case that you wanted” as he handed over the file. As Sushil looked into the file, Shanker said “Sir, who do you think is the killer among the two?”

“They both say they don’t know her but every killer makes a mistake and we just need to find that. If they did not make any then they will now” replied Sushil as he looked over Shanker.

The Perfect Crime — II

Milind looked at him puzzled asked “How is that possible? She was sleeping, when I entered the room, I put the pillow on her face and then stabbed on her stomach”

“As per the post mortem results that we have received, she was already dead by almost two hours and that she died of poisoning. Which again could be a case of suicide or someone might have killed her. Do you think, if there was anyone else who could have done it?

Sushil looked at him as he appeared lost in his thoughts. “Do you Milind?” he said that got his attention. “What about the man who was having affair with her? Did you find him?”

“No. We have not found anything that would suggest that she was seeing someone. We checked with her friends, office and we also searched for fingerprints at your home, but there were none apart from yours and Chaitra. So there could be a possibility that she was not having any affair” slowly said Sushil as he watched the facial movement of Milind.

After a silence, Milind said “she was having an affair. I know, I have seen her speaking suspiciously. Telling me that she was going to her mother’s house but wouldn’t be there. There have been several such instances wherein things did not add up. 

“One day I checked her phone when she was taking a bath and she had a message that would tell her where to meet. There were messages which looked like were sent by one who was having an affair with her. Did you check her phone?

“Yes we did but we did not find any such records which looked suspicious” “What about her other number? Did you check that too? He asked.

Puzzled Sushil asked him “which other number?” “She had two numbers. One personal and other official number” Milind replied. “We found only one mobile number and it’s this one” Sushil said as he showed the number saved on his handset.

“It’s the other one; she had said it was an official number which she used for incoming calls. She had a dual sim handset, you will find the sim card in it and then you can probably find the person too”

“Okay, we will look into it. The other thing that I wanted to say to you is that we are letting you go since the evidence states that she had died before your attempt to kill her”.

Milind looked at Sushil for a while and then said “Who killed her then, are we not going to find that out?” “We will. We will also require your help in resolving the case”. He got up, shake hands as he ushered him outside until the constable took hold of Milind.

Inspector Sushant entered the room as Milind left and said “Sir, do you really believe that he did not kill his wife?” “Well, only time will tell. We just need to wait and watch till he makes a mistake. After all no crime is perfect” Sushil said as he got up and both walked out of the room.

Been released from the jail, Milind entered his home which remain untouched in his absence finding everything in its place as it emanated strong smell of being kept closed.

He opened the windows, moved away the curtains as the light of the moon entered his home. He went inside his bedroom and sat on the very bed in which he killed his wife.

He looked lost in thoughts as his body appeared numb for a while and then he got up to take a bath. As the sprinkler hit his face with water, he could feel the rush of the water but that did not stopped the thoughts that lingered over his mind. The happy memories of Chaitra would come to his mind.

Why, why would she fall in love with another man, was I not taking good care of her was the question that was wielded into his heart as a knife. Tears stared flowing through his eyes even as the water splashed his face.

He came out, wore a t-shirt and shorts and called up his mother to inform her that he was released and at home. “Do you want me to come? I don’t think you should stay alone.” His mother said. He pacified her and said he would manage and kept the phone as he lied on the bed.

The Perfect Crime — I

“Can you take us there?” Inspector Sushil sitting in front of Milind asked him. Milind, who appeared stoned, nodded his head in affirmative.

As they reached his residence, Milind opened the door and guided them to his bedroom. They found the knife with blood dripping from its tip on the floor kept beside the bedroom cabinet near to where the women’s body lied with the sheets soaked in blood.

As the photographer started taking pictures of the crime scene, Inspector Sushil Patil took aside Milind and asked him “Why did you do it?” Milind who appeared numbed and lost said “She was going to leave me for another man”.

They took him under custody and placed him in the prison cell for murdering his wife.

As news of the murder broke out, his family came to know of the incident and both his mother Shanta and sister Mridula rushed to the police station. They were both guided to the cell where he was kept in holding.

He was sitting in a corner in the jail uniform, with his head down. “Milind, are you okay?” asked her mother as she caught the sight of him followed by Mridula. “Tell me, tell me. I know you could never do such a thing. Why would you do it?” she kept asking him as he stood in front of them with his head down. Tears flowed through her eyes seeing her son in distraught.

“Please don’t cry Amma. Please don’t” said Milind in a lowly voice. “Please tell me that you did not kill Chaitra, I know you won’t do it” she said to him as she begged to give her an answer.

He had none, as he stood mute in front of them with his eyes gazing down even as his mother held his hands through the jail bars. “Milind, I don’t think you are in a position to talk but we will do whatever we can to free you” said Mridula offering him support.

“Please don’t. I have committed a crime and need to be punished for it”. “Why would you do it? What had happened between the two of you that you took such a step?” Mridula questioned him which was followed by silence.

Seeing no response from him, she decided to leave as she held her mother who was heartbroken.

Few days later, a constable comes at his cell and takes him to the interrogation room where Sushil was waiting for him.

“How are you doing” he asked Milind who was seated in front of him who appeared better than earlier. “Fine” he replied.

“I have called you here to inform you that knowing that you have confessed to kill your wife, we have come across evidence that she had died before you stabbed her with a wife”

To be continued.....

P.S. I am tried my hand at writing a story. Trust its not that easy to write a long one especially when you don't have time or find yourself lost.

Anyways, I did complete one and sharing it out here. Please do read and give your honest feedback. Good, Bad (I'll try to take it under my stride) but please do :)

My Dad My Hero

“Papa, I want you to show something” Shantanu said as his tiny hands tried to hide it behind his back. 

Chintan looked at his innocent face and asked “What is it beta?” A sheet of paper came out of his back as he handed over to him to look at it.

It was the drawing of Chintan flexing his muscles while young Shantanu stands away from him with a big smile and saying “My Dad My Hero” in big lettered words.

Joy showed up on his face even as Shantanu looked at him and asked “Do you like it?” He took him on his arm and said “I love it” as he kissed him on his forehead.

“Dad, you pay the man his money back”. “I don’t like any one screaming at you”. He watched his son speak and moved his hand across his hair and hugged him tight. “Yes I will. I will pay him back”.

Earlier in the day, Shantanu was playing with his friends in the compound when they heard the commotion of a man screaming.

They went to investigate the noise and found one of the men accompanying Shantanu’s dad screaming at him.

“I want it back. I do not want any excuses. Next time I won’t be alone, there will be more people and I will beat the shit out of you” he yelled at the top of his voice.

Shantanu watched the whole fiasco and hid behind the tall child as his father looked at their direction, stood there for a moment and then walked inside.

That night as Chintan put Shantanu to sleep; he could not help getting touched by his kid’s gesture. He vowed to himself that he would become the hero he wanted him to be.

Movies

Tabu’s narration at the end of the Chandini Bar movie caught one off-guarded when she narrates her plights of her son becoming a criminal and her daughter a bar dancer something that she did not foresee. What she desired was to give them a normal life away from the world of crime and bar dance but it was not meant to be.

Anyone who has watched Chandni Bar could not have overcome the emotions on how situations played spoiler in her children future from one she had envisioned.

The movie had quite an impact and yes I really thought and still do that it had the chances of winning the Oscars.

Movies have such an enigma to it that it makes you laugh, cry, love and angry too probably all at the same time too.

Do you know that movies have magic that takes you in a world of cinema that is projected on the screen making them larger than life?

One is reminded of their first crush while watching the movie Shaala, where the boy looks at the girl being cautious of not getting caught and watches her which brings sheer joy to him. The way they exchanged glances would only make his heart beat go faster.

Movies need no language to convey its message but the portrayal of emotions through its story and characters. 

During the transit of the three and half hours or less journey, one is taken to the beautiful locales of the world which some of us can only imagine while some plan to take a trip.

Movies have such a strong presence that sometimes scenes from the movie can evoke emotions from within. Like the movie Anand, wherein Rajesh Khanna passes away and Amitabh Bachchan says he cannot die and then the voice from the tape echoes “Babu moshai zindagi aur maut uparwale ke hath hai jahapana, jise na aap badal sakte hain na main. Hum sab to rangmanch ki kathputliyan hain jiski dor us upar wale ke haathon main hai. Kab, kaun kahan uthega ye koi nahin janta”.

Songs form an eternal part in Indian movies without which they are incomplete. One can find a song dedicated to all kinds of festive occasions apart from the romantic/sad/item/naach gaana ones. What is essential in a movie is to dedicate a song to the movie title. 

Like all good things, movies too come to an end that makes us get up from our seat and enter back to the realms of our reality outside the theatre. A good movie always leaves you in awe and kindles a spark within that makes you do something that you yearned for or leaves an afterthought that stays with you throughout your lifetime. 

Has watching any movie had such an impact on you? If yes please share :)

Bollywood And The 100cr Club

Watching Dhoom 3 got me thinking….

Either the film makers think they can get away by showing a movie which has the actors, location, songs, action and supposedly a story to make it work or think the audience won’t notice the sloppy story plot in the backdrop of what the movie offers.

The way one hears about the movie crossing the Rs. 300 crore in box office collections makes one really wonder if you would still call it a good movie given the pot holes in the story plot which looked as part of the crater from the moon.

Movies like these actually makes one wonder about the ride that the audiences are taken into that fails to give you the satisfaction and value for money. Hope you are not the one who bought the tickets at Rs. 900. My heart goes out for you…

When people buy movie tickets, they wish to be enthralled in a world of cinema that capture their imagination by surprise but leave them with the feeling of happiness, sad, humor and engaging the curiosity of their minds by deliberating over the movie while leaving the theatres and thereafter. 

A movie that stays with the audiences long after it’s moved away from the multiplexes for its story, picturization, dialogues or simply for its humor reminds one how good the movie was.

Sadly the recent spate of movies would hardly make any recollection down the years. Though there have been movies that break these barriers but they certainly are very few.

It seriously makes one wonder if enough attention is paid to the basic need of the movie that will draw attention of the audience if the story of the movie is given its space.

Remaking of hit or old movies is certainly not the way to go and will certainly not help sustain the hindi film industry in the long run.

A series of dabba movies will only make the audiences more choosy before deciding to buy a ticket to watch a movie.

Hope there is a change in the trend in the upcoming movies for this year.

The Year That Was

With each passing of the year one realizes how fast time flies by. Another year gone by and I am counting the days as the end of the year comes by.

The year marks a lot of personal highs and lows too. Work wise it’s good given that I am a recovering workaholic.

I still don’t get it when it comes to personal chores I am lazy and unwillingly to move but when it comes to work I will be following up for so many things giving people a hard time.

The learning has been tremendous both personally and professionally.

Change has been an endeavor of mine for a long time but it’s not easy to accommodate and adjust to change. It takes time and is definitely not easy.

Had my own goals which I followed to the din but now have given up on them and going with the flow of life. Living life as it comes. Understand that there is something called fate/karma. Que sera sera.

It’s when you start holding things too tightly to yourself that you forget what others have to give and things may not be as it seems. Letting go of fears and getting out of the comfort zone is to explore the side that one does not know about them.

As each year passes by, time goes by and we look back and wonder if things could have been different. Then again no one can change the past but only the present and the future.

So live wisely…