Daddy's Little Princess

Source: ispcc

Karan was sitting in the hall, his shoulders drooping elbows resting on his legs as his hands covered his face. He could hear the voices coming from inside and wanted them to stop.

It went for quiet a while, screams could be heard and then Anju his wife came out and said "You talk to her. She is not listening to me" she said.

"Let me try" Karan said and went inside. He saw his 15 year old daughter Arohi sitting near the window looking outside. Eyes swelled up and face sullen.

He walked toward her and sat down to the floor to look upwards towards her. "Beta, what happened?" he asked her which was met with a silence and indifference to his presence. "We talked about this. Remember we had a deal" Again there was no response from her end.

Sensing that she was in no mood to talk he offered to leave to which she responded "I don't want to go" still looking outside the window. "Who is talking about leaving? We are still a family and will be always. The only difference will be I will not be around much but just a phone call away. Your wish will be my command".

"Dad, I want you to live with us just like old times. Why can't we be like one happy family like we used to be? No one cares about what I want. she said as her eyes let the tears flow out.

"I know its difficult for you to understand right now but when you grow up, you will know it was in the best interest of everyone. This is not what I wanted you to go through but here we are" as he held her hands into his.

"Dad, do you still love Mom? she asked and he nodded his head in sadness. "Why don't you fight for her, make her stay?

He looked at her with a smirk smile. "Don't you think I tried hard enough? You cannot hold on to people who have choose to move on. For a relationship to work it has be from both the ends. Otherwise both end up losing".

"People grow apart but that does not changes how you feel about them. You choose to move on with your life".

"I want to live with you Dad, not her". "Arohi beta, you know I tried from my end. Don't hate your Mom for this. She is doing what she think is best for her and you. Life is not a bed of roses and situations like this makes one realize to let each other know that you love them from time to time. Maybe I was not paying attention to what was going on with her and paid for it".

"I will never stop loving her and so should you. Remember the happy times and I will be just a phone call away" he looked at her and smiled as he held on to her hands. She smiled back.

"Be a good girl now and give your Dad a hug" Karan said as he got up. "You know, you look so pretty when you smile, your face lights up" as they hugged each other.

"You will be always be your Daddy's little princess"

Book Review: Nine Lives: In Search of the Sacred in Modern India by William Dalrymple

Its been almost a year now that I have started reading books again. Made sure that I touched upon the writers never read or heard before. It gives a good perspective when one engages oneself in the thoughts that is put into writing. Questioning, Understanding and Differing views gives an understanding of the larger picture. 

When I decided to read this book, I had no idea what it was all about. I had heard only about the author William Dalrymple but nothing to gloat.

I have to say that I did not know that there exists different types of writers. Mostly what I have read was mostly fiction, biography, etc. but never a travel book. This was my first travel book.

India is rich in diversity, culture and so many stories to tell. Religion plays an important part in our daily lives and this book offers us a peek into the lives of people who dedicate their lives to God wholeheartedly and ask for nothing more.

It stuck me how little we know of them who are only revered during religious ceremonies. I have to say the author did a pretty good job reminding us about the hardships, dedication and ways of life to live. 

It reflects upon on the lives of nine such individuals who found their calling in God.

I could relate to the story of the Theyyam dancer having witnessed Bhuta Kola up close which is similar to it. What I did not know was the back story of these dancers that I came to know through this book.

We think we know all about religion/God but its the lives that has been touched upon have the tales to tell.

The glimpse into the life of a girl who always knew she wanted to become a monk, wandered places, learned the ways to live and it was the passing of her friend that led her to question and then on the path of Sallekhana.

It's intriguing to see the author ask them about their choices, the path they walked on and to an outsider that gives a lot of insight into their lives.

Among the nine lives, its the narrative of Manisha Ma Bhairavi, the Bauls & Tibetan monk that makes an interesting read.

I have to say that I at times find the author too excessively describing the surroundings which did made me wonder if that was needed.

Nonetheless each interaction with the nine lives makes you think the path they walked on, the road less traveled and the kind of determination and dedication shown all in the name of God.

I will recommend this book to anyone who wants to explore the facets of these lives who remain invisible to our naked eyes and come to prominence only when we need the presence of our higher calling.

Suicides

The first time when I heard someone saying “suicide” was during my class tenth, when one of my friends told me that one of our classmates had committed suicide. That guy used to sit besides me.

I wondered what prompted him to take such a drastic step even as the results were still to be declared.

The thought evaporated over the years but comes back as I read or hear about people committing suicides through the newspapers or news channel. The number of people committing suicides has gone up and some of the reasons may even baffle you.

Growing up, we are all taught the winning ways but are left alone when faced with a setback. Has the society reached to such a level that failures are simply not acceptable? As it is said “Success has many fathers, Failure has none”.

Committing Suicide is like taking the easy way out. Not facing the people who keep reminding you that you have failed, lost your job, are unemployed and other numerous taunts that becomes unbearable for some. Has the tolerance level of today’s individual’s stoop so low that they just cannot accept failure and try again?

No one can really understand the predicament of such an individual who contemplates such thoughts or is it that we never try to when they try to reach us out?

People today have become so closed-up that some of them actually think twice before they lay their bare chest open. The love between the family members, friends and others are hardly shown and are kept for occasions only. It needs to be shown everyday in forms of hugs, words and support to show that there are people who care for you so that they can reach out to them when they need the support and help.

No wonder it leaves many people stumped when they hear someone they knew commit suicide as they had never saw it coming.

Suicides by celebrities evoke the same shock as behind the glam life; one could never see the true emotions hidden behind the face. The truth is, there are always signs to see if one can observe it, an individual who thinks about taking such a drastic step often shows withdrawal symptoms which is in contrast to their personalities.

Life is all about living and not about running away when one finds themselves in troubled waters. We need to learn living through our bad times as we do in our good times.

Nothing lasts forever.

It’s just a phase which either makes you realize something you haven’t or gives you enough strength so that you can bounce back, but for that to happen one has to try.

Problems come and go, but life once gone cannot come back again.

Before taking that big step, one should think about their loved ones and what would they be put up through…

Call of the Void

I have a confession to make. I am afraid of heights.

Albeit it was not like that always. I have stood on the edge on the roof and was able to look down. It was in college when I realized I had height issues.

Strange as it sounds having a tall height and short railings would make sure that I stood a feet away instead of being on the edge.

A few years back, it took a worse hit when I visited a place where interior was taking place. Standing on the 12th floor, I was not able to look down and when I sat on a bed next to an open wall without window, railings with hardly a few distance.

As I walked towards the bed and looked outside, I had this voice in my mind prompting me to jump out of the window. As weird as it sounds I did not pay any heed to it but I did ponder on it on the back of my mind why would such a thought would come to my mind?

I had completely forgotten about until it happened again.

Strange, a voice inside your head telling you to jump and there is no coming back from it. Why would one think in such a way? Was the subconscious at play? Trying to telling something? Was it all a figment of imagination for all to begin with?

There were no answers.

Did my own sanity saved the day for me? Made me think about those people jumping from high-rise buildings, did they listened to that voice in their mind as their own and took the step...

I had confided about this to a family member. A few days ago they told me that one of their friends also experienced such an incident and apparently it has a name.

Its called "Call of the Void" or as they say in French "l’appel du vide".

Studies have been conducted to understand this phenomenon but there has not been a complete breakthrough on why the mind would say something that would end up hurting or killing yourself?

It is very normal to happen and can happen to people with no history of depression, mental illness, suicidal tendencies, etc.

If you’re among those who experience the call of the void, it’s usually nothing to worry about. It’s just one of those interesting, mildly scary, not-yet-fully-understood weird tricks of the brain that a lot of people experience (Source).

There is so much to know and so little we know. I would quote from the X-Files "The truth is out there" which pretty much sums it all.

The sad part is not everyone knows about this. Call of the void is a real thing and it would certainly help to make others aware especially those who are hearing those voices.

You may refer below links in case you want to know more:

Link 1
Link 2

Ram Bharose

"What do you mean by names don't match? I have given you my pan card and adhar card that reflects my name only. I have given them across for other KYC & account opening. What do you mean by name is not matching? No one has ever come back to me once. How can you say name is not matching?" thundered John Alex Stalin on his cellphone.

The bank executive Ram Bharose listened to John and said "I know Sir but as per the new rules put in place. Your government photo id cards full names should match. Your middle name is not matching."

"What the fuck do you mean its not matching? My middle is written in both "Alex Stalin". Are you guys blind not to see? screamed John.

"Sir, I know. Your pan card mentions John Stalin but your adhar card states John Alex Stalin. There is a middle name mismatch." said Ram Bharose.

John shook his head, his hand touching his forehead as he walked up & down the hall "Arre Ram Bharose, woh pan card ke second line ka naam mere abba ka hain na!!" 

"Sir, nahi chalta na, usse first line hona chaiye tha, jaise apka Adhar card main hain. Aap naya pan card kyu nahi banate?"

By this time John is huffing & puffing down the hall unable "Ram Bharose". "Yes Sir". "Tu ek kaam kar woh jo application hain usse aag laga de, nahi toh ek kaam kar usse fadkar dust bin main daal de. Nahi kholna mujhe koi account" he thundered.

"Sir, aap to bura..." is what John got hear as he disconnected the call.

Leela appeared hearing his screams as John's cheeks went red with rage. "That fellow says aapka middle name galat hain. Bolta hain baap ka naam missing hain"

Hearing it Leela started laughing as she sat besides John in her attempt to try and console him.

Seeing her laugh he got more enraged and said "You find this funny? You see how I teach them a lesson. I will tweet this to their CEO on twitter. Phir dekhta hu kaise middle name mismatch dekhta hain"

"Why taking so much stress? Just give him na what he wants and khatam karo. Baat ko chewing gum ke tarah kheech ke kya kar loge"

"Leela, you don't understand. Somebody has to stand to their idiotic demands. Where is it written that full name should match in all government ids? ID main photo nahi dekhta kya?

"John, do you really think you can argue with fools? Tumko lagta hain isse desh badal jayega. I am telling you, just give them what they want and leave it" All John could do was fume at her.

Two days later as John & Leela were having their cup of tea, John received a call and the voice over the other end said "Sir, Ram Bharose bola raha hu. Apne twitter main complaint...."

Leela watched his expressions changed to rage as he cringed and listened. She asked him who it was and he loudly said "Ram Bharose!!!"