Quote Un'Quote

Life is Unfair
Everyone Struggles
Let's Not Make That An Excuse

August 15, 2009

Take A Stand

Mayur ended the call on his cell phone; went inside his house sat on the sofa stretched his legs on the table and spread his arms around the sofa.

“I thought she would listen to me, and agree to make the changes on whose name the flat is going to be, but she did not….” He said to himself.

After a moment of deliberation, he said “What difference does it make anyways? Once I marry her, I’ll get a flat and a share of her wealth. All that I have to do is tie a mangalsutra around her neck and rest of all the expenses would be taken care of by her parents. Once married, I will convince her to add my name instead of her as the owner of the flat”.

Never in his wildest dream he had seen this coming, where he would see himself moving into a flat from a slum and get a slice of huge wealth without spending a penny. All he had to do was marry a girl, who was constantly being rejected because of her dark complexion.

His face broke into a smile; after all he was the one who was going to have the last laugh.

Such marriages do take place where the girl belongs to a well to do family and the guy is inferior in respect of status. Most of these alliances takes place as the family of the girl find it hard to get a boy of their status in the community or the reasons could vary from the girl been highly educated, being of too dark complexion or for other reasons.

Not all such marriages that take place are based on “Get Rich Quicker” route there are sometimes genuine individuals involved too.

Our society norms are such that once you grow older, one is expected to get married and start a family of their own and if they don’t do so, then rumors starts spreading on the probable causes for being single.

The lackadaisical attitude of the girl’s parents who treat her like she has become a burden on them and if she is not married after a certain age, people will start wagging their tongues!!

What is the point in getting a daughter married in such a way which appears nothing more than a business deal?

It would do more good to give the girl more freedom and letting her live the way she wants to, who knows she might find love in the future instead of giving her away in such a manner where dark clouds looms over her future, which can only be predicted after marriage.

On top of that, where is the self-respect of a man who cannot stand up for themselves and prefer to depend on their wife’s kitty. The man would end up utilizing the wife’s fund for more than often instead of finding it through other means of resources.

In such marriages, there is a role reversal where the bride takes on groom’s role and the groom plays the bride, providing other amenities such as a flat to live in, in case the groom does not own one or help him set up a business.

Such marriages do go through a litmus test of the society wherein the groom would be constantly reminded how his life has changed due to his marriage (this will only hurt the individuals whose motive was not money, a male bruised ego can take bad turns), as for the girl too, life is not going to be easy especially when the shameless relatives talk about her how her marriage got fixed in her presence.

What is the point in getting married in such a way? so that the parents feel that they have fulfilled all their duties? or the girl to think that this is her fate and that she should live with it?

There is more to life then just settling down and starting a family, something that we, Indians seem averse to.

The society norm needs to be broken when it starts to strangle the people for whom it was built for….


Rane (The Orchid with All Shades Pink) said...

hey..that was a thought provoking one.. i couldnt agree with you more.. this is one of the examples of laying a wrong foundation of something as strong as marriage..

kudos to you for writing this one..


Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you...Being a guy..nay..an Indian guy..you have not only noticed and felt for such atrocities..you have actually written such a nice, heart felt post...Kudos...I hope more mum's raise sons like you....

Anonymous said...

I have mentioned your post in my blog. I hope you don't mind...

sujata said...

any relation based on vested interest can bring only unhappiness. If you are ready for that, go ahead and make the marriage a business deal. very thought provoking.

pawan said...

I came through Choco's post, and I back her. Man, as a guy I never thought in those lines!
I guess you must be hogged with girlfriends all around, if not be patient you will get many!

That was very thoughtful and inspiring!

A beautiful post indeed!


ani_aset said...

Could not agree more
Thats a harsh reality of today which needs to change..and sooner the better

Grayquill said...

Interesting post - being from the US I do not understand the complexity of India's social system. So my comment will be in the form of principle and maybe it will fit and maybe it won't. Kick it to the curb if you like.
Principle: Change for change is not always good. But change is usually good when it rights an injustice. Discrimination over skin color is always an injustice in my never to be humble opinion.
I am baffled by the light skin color phenomena in your country. Men and women in the USS spend hours laying in the sun, buying self tanning lotions, spending many dollars going to tanning beds all to make their skin dark. Weird huh?

Rakesh Vanamali said...

I wonder when as conscious people that we'd understand the importance of a marital union and not see it as a business arrangement! We truly have a long way to go before being called a model society!

Thousif Raza M.B said...

i couldn't agree more, but still its only a handful of people who belong to that category yaar, cause almost 90 have a thing called self respect, so people who think more from their mind than their heart do things like this

anyways nicely written, good work

take care and keep writing......

Shwetz said...

now that was something really thoughtful. I believe its the media that motivates such stories and dumb movies that portray them!

Nice post dude! :)

Shanu said...

Gr8 post dude :)

I have seen my frnds go thru this and i cldnt agree more!

Deepali said...

Totally agree. It's sad how women in our society get treated like nothing better than furniture or some property.

Loved the last line.

The Survivor said...

@ Rane

Very True!! Thanks

@ Choco

Thanks. I don't think that's going to change Mom's opinion about me :)

@ Sujata


@ Pawan

Welcome to LIFE

Thanks for dropping by

Do you really think that was the motive (hogging girlfriends) behind writing this post? Get a LIFE Mate!!

The Survivor said...

@ ani-asset

Welcome to LIFE

I agree

@ Grayquill

Yeah, I am aware of that trend in the west and yet here in India being fair is considered next to GOD!!

@ Rakesh

Very True Mate!!

@ Thousif

Welcome to LIFE

You might wanna check on that, majority of people still take dowry even though we might not agree to it.


The Survivor said...

@ Shwetz

Yes, somewhere the media has failed in fulfilling its responsibilities!!

Thanks :)

@ Shanu


@ Deepali

Thanks. I think its high time that perception gets changed

lostworld said...

Sadly, majority of the society fails to look at the true essence of marriage.. Its disgusting :(

your post addressed the issue so sensitively!

Winnie the poohi said...

Awesomely written. I find marriage as an institution totally staid and has become such a norm that pppl get into it for all the stupid reasons!

Hope few of them open their eyes atleast now!

The Survivor said...

@ lostworld

Welcome to LIFE

Thanks. Hope they realize what they are doing...

@ Winnie

Thanks. I hope so!!