XXIX

Am tired today and will prefer to sleep early today thanks to my yesterday night’s jagran where sleep eluded me and found myself using the time to my advantage for getting things done. The result, I am sleepless for one whole night.

Ever wondered about the questions that pop into one’s mind? Does every question gets answered or they remain unanswered?

What do you do when questions remains answered? Accept things the way they are or try to search harder.

XXVIII

[Thinking, thinking, staring at the screen, still thinking…………………. finally a topic strikes]

It’s real hard to write these days to think of something to write on this blogs especially with all my time devoted to work. (No, I don’t follow the work is worship rule, still stuck L)

This week people simply loved to scream, make me run around and yes finally getting things down with suspense till the last minute. Who said one needs to act in a movie to do that when I can get that all in real life.

If one thought that there is a scarcity of fools out in the world, I would say its otherwise. Common sense and logic also seems to be a rare skill that people have. No one would listen to it only want things to go their way. Thank god there is something called facts.

XXVI

My mind is blank right now, wondering what to write on the piece of the white paper that I sit to write down each and every night to publish a post on my blog every day.

Lot of thoughts do wander around but to catch hold one of them and turn it around is difficult. It’s like trying caught a hen running around.

Just finished certain work before deciding to sit and write this post before going to sleep.

It’s good to have friends who worry about you, when one does not call them up. Makes me feel blessed. They say it’s not the count of friends that matter but the one who is always there to help that matters.

Why are desires insatiable? Why does it keep bringing to the same place when it cannot be yours? Is there a meaning hidden?

Why do doubts bother us when life is all about experience, making choice and living by it? Why does it force one to think the other way around?

XXV

These days I am in search of me. The ‘real’ me whom I know defines me but the one that can be felt inside but not on the outside. The search keeps me wandering around and yes a lot of questions that needs to be answered.

Ever look back at the past and had a look at oneself and the changes that one had gone through and wonder how come you lost that beautiful smile and innocence that kept one going through the day.

Keep asking question and the answers are never there. Still we keep looking for there. Some way want an explanation and the logic to get to us. Make us finally understand which it could not in the puzzle and the hints it leaves behind.

Yet the search of ‘me’ continues a state of mind which gives a sense of fulfillment. Is that what attaining nirvana is about? The search for truth of oneself…..

Lost in our own world, we create our version to deal with reality around even though life is about experience but still it creates challenges around us forcing us to make a choice

Choice which no matter one takes in a situation remains a decision of one, no matter where one stands in the middle of the road. It’s something that one has to live to with the rest of their lives.

If you think living life is easy, think again.

Then again, one lives only once, so what is there to lose? J

Day XXIV

I await your company in the nigh as I look up, here and there to sense your presence in the night.

To be touched and embraced by you. Where are you, when needed the most?

Your touch keeps me awake in the night as I search for you in the middle of the night.

It makes me twirl between the sheets of my bed as my mind finds itself lost into thick forest of mindless thoughts.

Your games keep me sleepy in the day, troubling me to go on with my routine. Such is an effect of you.

I miss you, when you leave me for days and make me look for you, force to live without you

Why do you do that, when you know I cannot live without you? My night is incomplete without your hold in your arms.

When are you going to come to me, as I wait for you to come and take me back to my world of dreams……

Day XXIII Dreams

Lost in his own thoughts, he went into a deep slumber of sleep where the dreams came alive; bringing life of its own. 


Even as the night ticked away for the sun to rise. 




That's when  the reality of life begins and dreams comes to an end.....

Day XXII

What a day, it turned out to be. Full of excitement that begin in the morning and lasted till the evening.

I find the human mindset and mentality really very interesting. When pushed to a limit or a choice is given between being selfish or selfless, how one reacts and one can see the changes in color.

Saw three idiots movie again. If one looks around, no is looking at solving the problem. Everyone is just busy get the monkey off their backs and move on. Unless the problem becomes bigger to handle that a solution is sought or else it remains dormant.

How many of you are a dreamer. Live in your dreams to make it a reality. Not about chasing goals but using imagination that brings out one’s creative juices to do things differently. Everyone does that but only few realize that.

My creative juices are on a high but right now am stuck with monotonous work that keeps me busy. What about you, how do you use your imagination?

Monday, always happens to be my hangover days, I don’t know why but it happens to be. I guess it’s more of a Monday blues. Would have been so better na that after the weekends there is no Monday. J

Heard somewhere that Bill Gates prefer to hire lazy people coz they are known to use better ways to get things done. Mr Gates here I am, where are you? J

Day XXI Hard work

Sitting in a training session; the director of human resources asking the people sitting in front of him, the reasons behind a successful career.

People raise their hands and tell all kind of points and then one of them says “hard work” and somehow it only received a nod from him.

Isn’t it obvious these days that hard work is not considered the “it” trait that it was earlier.

Today the jingoism that goes around; is of working smart (whatever that means) and putting up a good show in front of one’s superiors even if one does not put that much of an effort.

Standards have fallen down and its more about who moves up quickly up the ladder rather than who is performing better. Do let me know if you think otherwise.

Know someone who would not stoop to such levels to move ahead and the only skill set that he knows is of hard work. Would even leave his job, but find the same mentality all around.

Can’t blame him, too much has changed. It’s what one can do for others rather doing things right that matters.

These things don’t and won’t change so a change in one’s outlook is necessary something that I too find hard to digest but it’s the reality.

Not advising to succumb to the trap but find a middle where one’s morals can co-exist without breaking it. Remember bend the rules don’t break it.

Work is something I religiously try to avoid mentioning on this blog but seeing his plight(which he did not express but I got the point), I could not resist.

Day XX

The weekend comes and gives me some big time relief. It’s the only time of the day that I can actually give some time to myself.

Cannot run away from the reality after all its just a phone call away, isn’t it J.

If one wants see madness in life, see people boarding the crowded buses in the early morning and that gives one a fair idea.

Does the heart belong to only one, or it has place for more. I think it has your thoughts please. I think we are almost compatible with everyone given if there is a right timing to it but then again chances of that happening are rare right.

This week has been a heart breaking week. Crushes breaking my heart with the news of some being married and others in line. Fate can be very cruel at time not giving you chances and bringing a twist. Thankfully there are others to look up to.

How can a dreamer weave their life around reality? If you have the answer to that, do share it.

Day XIX

This is going to my shortest post ever. I know that could have skip the post for today.


Its better to post something than nothing at all. If wondering about the smallest post on this blog, its all because I don't have the time. Will share the details tomorrow.


Got to see my nephew and not in a happy mood. Trust me you don't want to see that :)

Day XVIII

I almost or should I say did played the role of Mosntilal from Office Office today running here and there. Man, I only thought only govt. officers were good in this and now I am proved wrong at this and even private companies can be worse. Can you believe this happen to one if its own employee?

From the past two days had been hearing only about weddings, some got married and then some on their way. Guess its look like people are busy on their way to get hitched. Good luck to them.

I am thinking hard on what further I could add up for the day. Apart from the face that I am sleep deprived. People don’t really listen these days, one need to grab their attention by giving them a shock. I did that today and the reaction was good.

Have got a glimpse of IPL, thanks to Rahul Dravid for whom I try to watch when his team plays. Have immense respect for that man.

I don’t understand people’s craze for Formula One. I did saw it to understand the madness behind. Who has the patience to watch cars moving around from 60 to 70 laps?

Guess that will be all for today. Going to sit and finish some work. :) 

Day XVII

Another day gone by and the week to go. Lost count of the days gone by.

These days I feel like I am one of the cops making an investigation into almost everything but with the exception of thefts and murders. To add touch of realism the organization actually behaves like a sarkari daftar, where one keeps knocking on almost everyone doors.

I find changing oneself to be hard or to inculcate a new habit. I have tried my hand at exercise, yoga, meditation, etc. Do it for a few days religiously and then back again to square one. It does take a lot of will to do something different and to stick to it.

One’s mind always acts like a villain in the movie which will never let you it easily. No wonder when one accomplishes it, it feels good more like defeating the one bad shade of yours.

Apparently my case falls in neither. I believe sleeping beauty was actually a story about a prince instead of a princess but the story changed to target the touchy emotions of the mass female audience. Poor guys, we never get the credit for anything expect when it comes to point fingers.

These days I am experimenting on faith and trying to take a leap of faith. I have done experiments most of my life. In fact even gave myself an electric shock.

I realize and do believe that life is all about experience and yes one should always try out the path they would not like to take. Life can always go either ways but walking in the path that one wants has its own fun.

Seriously its times like this when I feel I can be the Yogi Baba sharing the philosophical gyaan. Hope my bhakts are listening, please donate as I would also like to hold my pravachans across India, be on TV for my bhakts and lastly but not the least make some money. Mil batke khayge J

Any one listening?

Day XVI

It feels so good when you express the feelings and letting your heart out. I just did that. Know that it means nothing for the other person but definitely feels good.

This world seriously does not work on common sense but know the control of power. Today that power was in the hands of the auto driver. There was an auto strike as they make demands to hike prices.

One would have actually listened to their demands but they tamper with the meters and don’t even stop when going empty, will come with all kind of excuses and also have the right to refuse. Please tell me why the state govt is not doing anything about it and why we as people not doing anything about it.

My heart broke today when I came to know that two of my crushes were married and one is even expecting. Ouch it hurts L

Day XV Survival

As he woke up, he found himself caged by bars surrounding him all round limiting his movement. He tried and tried and after days of trying was able to bend a few bars to get out of the cage and run. Run for his freedom and through the clutches of the unknown.

As he stride ahead, his steps were halted by huge walls in the midst of the forest and as he walked along the walls, he could not found an exit but a trail to where it all began.

As days passed by, he made the cage his home and kept making weapons to break the wall. Each time he failed he would go back and make stronger weapons.

Until one fine day, he was able to break the chunk of the wall, which gave him enough confidence to go for the rest. As the wall was brought down, he could see the path that laid ahead that took him to the river with a boat awaiting him and sail to the unknown path with uncertainties lying ahead as he struggled for his survival.

Isn't this true for ourselves too where the cage represents our own thoughts of limitations and the walls meaning the fate of life. Opportunities and life can happen at the same moment but it happening at the right moment makes the difference.

Do let me know your thoughts….

P.S. Have you seen the movie "Pyar ka Panchnama (question for gals), this is probably the first movie showing the guy's point of view. After all gals have their serials to support. Would love to hear a gal's view on the movie.

BTW, don't really get people saying to each other "babu" what the hell does that mean.

Day XIV

I almost forgot to write today’s post and was heading to sleep when realized. Here I am back to complete the post of the day.

As I am writing this post I could hear either a squirrel or probably a mouse squeaking. Will have it checked out in the morning.

Weekend is something that I look forward to these days, as it happen to be the only days when I get some time for myself. Then again, when one is at home, can they be without some homework to do? Over I can still take my shots for not doing it. J

What do you think about dreams? Do they have a story to tell? I still remember how I got my first cycle, told my Dad that I had a dream about it and I had to really push to get one.

Today earthquake hit Bombay and I never came to know about it.

My suspicion is confirmed. It’s a squirrel running around the house. It almost jumped on me. That at least what happened the last time when I found one running around the house. Right now have it locked under the kitchen and will let it out in the morning. Would prefer to keep it a pet but I know that won’t happen. Do read this post to know about animals visit our home.

Got a go its already getting late.

Day XIII

There are two kinds of people in the world. One who goes with the flow and the second kind that tries/changes to make the path better as they walk along. I belong in the second category and no wonder it make me curious how people of the first kind can survive by simple accepting the existing situation and not try to change it for the better.

Apparently people in the higher up are not even aware of such issues. For them the only thing that matters is work gets done. One will support you but only as long as one is able to make it fruitful. I for certain cannot work in a place full of chaos. Apparently it has its own learning and I am doing just that right now.

Today happens to be the 13^th the Friday and this also happens to be my 13^th post for this month. Should that mean anything?

I have this guy chasing me for weeks to give at least 15 mins to listen to his investment idea and I don’t have the time. Life can be cruel at times sometimes making you work all the time or none at all.

Have been listening to this song all day along, been a long time since I heard a song in loop.

The song has three versions, two female and one male and I like this one better.

Day XII

If one has visited this blog or have been around for some time there is something that I wanted to change. It happened to be my work life.

I have been a recovering workaholic and with the amount of work that I am doing these days it goes even beyond that. Work is something that I avoid to mention in my blog. Apparently this is the only thing or should I say am doing all the time right now.

Why is it when one decides to do things different, that fate decides to play truant.

This time however I am looking at things at differently. Understand that one cannot do much beyond a certain point. Take everything as learning. There is no point in thinking that one did not do enough. Always look at the positives.

I know I am been preachy and boring here. What to do? :(

What would it take to change the mindset of people still treating you like a kid. My siblings and relatives do that. I am not sure what I should do to change that.

Heard of the earthquake in Indonesia and the possibility of tsunami coming aftermath. The funny part was looking at the news when cops at patrol wanted people to move away from the beaches of Chennai and they still stick around to catch the first glimpse of it.

It’s been weeks that I have touched my guitar today. Hope this weekend will lessen the distance between us. The weekend is something that I am looking upto as have lot of things to take care of including shopping.

Day XI

There are days when one just don’t want to get up and but still goes. Then miracle happens. The noise dies down and slowly the silence takes over. As one gets attuned to the silence, the miracle started.

Today happened to be that day. Simply enjoyed the silence so much that I actually stayed back at work willingly J

Gals simply want to have their way. I am in touch with a gal professionally and my, she knows all the right buttons to get her work done through talks. Then again I am smart enough to not find myself fooled by it. Apparently we are fighting all the time and it makes me wonder if we are couple without in a relationship.  

Why is it that when good things happen to one, people come to you from everywhere but not to be found before.

Day X

It’s the tenth day of my blogging and I am already wondering how to continue.

Not that I don’t want to but my daily activities hardly gives me the time. A guy has been trying to seek my time and I don’t have time to give. That busy I am.:(

What do you think about hard choices? Choices that do not give one a leeway and following either decision means giving up on something. Have you ever done one?

These days am coming across people who know how to complicate things instead of helping out.

What do you think about not getting something when needed and being given the same when the desire is lost? Have been hearing that a lot from someone I know.

Not going to write much now saving energy for a better tomorrow post J

Day IX

It almost felt that a weight has been lifted off my chest. Can’t tell you what’s it about but it certainly makes me feel good. Finally the closure is happening.

Today I was playing the role of counselor to my friend who apparently did not like his GF talking to a particular person. I can understand the possessiveness and jealousy but to go to an extend to tell them to delete the number and not talk to that guy is something that I could not understand.

Got his logic behind it, but really if someone does not feel the love they used to, no matter what one does, eventually they will drift away. This also become more common in marriages these days as its easier to let go than hold on.

Why is it that one’s responsibilities always go up when they grow up and never comes down?

Did anyone notice that these it’s the guys are stripping on the television shows? Don’t think there are many guys who watch television these days. I at least don’t not for any Indian television show. The sense and sensibility of making a good show has gone on a vacation never to return.

With the morning shows being devote to all the Baba lok, the afternoon and the prime time shows cater to the conservative mindset of our population. There is a huge dearth of creativity and originality. No matter how modern we call ourselves, we simply don’t give up on our old customs as they die hard. No wonder education has been a failure.

I can go on and on but don’t think there is a point in it. As one wise man said to my friend, don’t try to be Anna Hazare and try to change the world. People have enough problem of their own to deal with.

Day VIII

I have not been able to do justice to my blog here. I hardly take out the time to write.

Finally when I do, I am heavily intoxicated with sleep resting on my eyes, waiting to just have  my eyes closed and put me on the trance of sleep. To avoid that I took the time out specially for my blog out here today J

Today the highlight is love marriage. No matter how happy the love birds will be once they are given the consent to bind themselves with wedding vows, for their family it’s a uncertainty followed by anxiety especially when over the years one has to attend each other functions. Trust me; the initial days are not that easy.

Read about the news about a biker getting killed as a BEST double decker bus fell on him. That guy was supposed to getting married in the first week of May. One can never know how fate can strike. The irony of all this is that driver got a suspension. Do they believe that life once gone can be returned?

I know someone who keeps saying that if you tell the truth as it is, no one listens but a little salt and pepper and you have an audience. I agree with it. What do you think about it?

It’s funny the way the siblings have a talk together, one keeps talking about their own story and still it’s supposed to be a talk J Does that happens with you guys.

A small child in the house can bring so much happiness and it stops at that till they start growing up. L

Day VII

Do you wonder about the way the life is?

If you do then I would say stop doing it cause I don’t think there are going to be any answers even though a lot of questions keep coming up inside the head.

I think we always question our existence and try to find a reason behind it but don’t think there is any reason worth finding out. I kind of come to a conclusion that life is about experiencing it and not about what one has or don’t or finding happiness.

I believe we create our own luck sometimes it could be coincidence and then its karma. Talking about karma never get the fact why people with bad deeds, tend to live longer than the good people. I guess it all comes to about survival. 

What's your opinion?

Day VI The World of Movies

It was like time had stood still as there was a pin drop silence and the only thing one could hear was one’s own breath.  This how I felt as I woke up late in the morning

Hope I see more of such days. The day was spent watching movies. One of them happened to be the movie Congo, watching probably the third time. It kind of reminded me how manipulating nature can prove dangerous. Training gorrillas to be like warriors and then the same gorrillas turn into killers. 

That reminds me of the movie Rise of the planet of the apes, simply loved it even though the story has been told many a times. Wonder when will the time come when such movies will be made it India. I guess for that to happen our film industry needs to stop getting inspired from other movies.

There is one movie though that I like for its originality and the way it pictured the times of the kings. Suryavanshi, starring Salman Khan. I am not sure if the movie did good or not but it was certainly good and a very different concept.

That reminds me of the movie Chandni Bar. Apparently whenever I talk about this movie, I get into the nitty gritty of it. Remember just had a conversation on the same with a friend of mine few days back and even today I keep saying to people that instead of Lagaan, this movie should have been send as a nomination for the Oscars and we surely would have Oscar in our hands that year.

Seeing that movie, one can decipher how cruel can life be by sending one back to the place from where they always wanted to go/move/ran away. Such must be the realities of some people and then there are people like us lost in our own world and thinking what kind of mess we are in.

Its good to see Hindi movie industry taking small steps towards originality if not completely original. Even the south Indian film industry is better than them. Saw a few movies and have to say liked the originality in it.

Do you watch movies of other languages? Apparently as a kid I used to movies in Marathi, Gujrati, and other south Indian languages,Bengali and at time even foreign movies (with subtitles) for that matter.

Marathi movies are good too but found some of them exploiting the “Marathi Manoos” in a very wrong way. I don’t think movies should be used to promote that one community is greater than another. Then again in today’s times our educated political leaders are very busy in getting community votes and no wonder such kinds of movies helps their growth. Hope the education one has gone through helps one in making the right choices.

I sometimes do wonder what would be my life if there were no movies to watch and it seems like a nightmare movie J

So, do you a movie to tell......

Day V

How many times a guy is gets asked by a girl to share his photo not once but thrice? Let me tell you that odds of that happening are pretty less. Will not go into details J

One must have read about my yesterday post about how we human beings are living a complex life. Sometime we ourselves complicate them by making the wrong choices and asking the wrong questions.

If you are one of those trying to find the meaning of life, I would say don’t waste your time. Life is all about living and experiencing it. Living in the moment matters.

Everybody is going gaga over the IPL, don’t find much fun in watching cricket these days and the credit for that will go to the Indian cricket who knows how to keep the people always uncertain.

Losing cool has become a norm for me, something that’s unlike me even for a short time. Do you think it’s better to vent out anger or keep it within?

Every day keep reading the horrorscope (horoscope for those who don’t get it) in the papers and trust me it never actually turns out the way it’s written. Still I keep reading and following, don’t ask me why.

Read in the papers about a disciplinary father making her daughter beg so that she can be someone in her life and be independent. Raising children is a serious and big responsibility and messing it up only ends up damaging and scarring the child for life. People do all kinds of things these days. After all one can live the life the way they want to.

Isn’t it funny that the government keeps increasing one’s expenses but never the income? Guess it time they table a bill on income too, that should keep everyone happy.

BTW, got appreciated for my work and an apology from my boss. How many times does that happen? Referring to the apology part J

Day IV A Better Day

Today turned to be a better day than yesterday even though I have hell of work lying with me. These days I am listening to music on my phone something that happens only in a blue moon day.

Have a good collection of songs but will only listen when in the mood. Seeing people listening to it while jogging/traveling in buses, what the use of listening to song this way if one cannot enjoy the songs eternally. I happen to do that on my work.

Have you ever given a thought about the world revolving around you. Somehow this thought keeps coming back to me something that I just thought about when I small. Does it have a meaning to decipher.

Isn’t it challenging to live as a human being. To go through all kinds of emotions, go through day to day routines, do office/ home work and if one get the time then spend or exhaust the time in front of TV, chatting with friends and family and then when its time to sleep, one gets the time for self. We devote time to everyone but forget to do the same with ourselves. Does one really think they know who they are

Getting late going to sleep. Will make sure to devote time to blog.

Day III Exhaustion

The title of the post says it all. That’s what I am feeling right now and don’t think can escape from it unless blessed with a good night sleep which takes away all the tiredness and refresh the body and mind with great energy when waking up in the morning.

I am not able write or think of anything right now. Guess that sums the post very well :)

P.S: This would be my shortest post ever.

Day II Monday The Hangover Days

Mondays have always been my hangover days. No it does not mean that I am drunk on weekends. It simply means that I could not get my hangover of the weekends as I find it hard to get up in the morning and go to office.

Hardly get any sleep these days due to cold problem. Don't even have the time to visit the doctor. I am actually allergic to going to doctors but these days there has been a turnaround.

Isnt' it funny no matter how much we talk of gender equality, but it always play a role when one needs to get things done. And to be honest guys are at the receiving end coz they are ones who create it.

No matter how much I get my work done, my boss prefers to give even more. I think I am being mistaken for a machine. No wonder the machines will revolt one day. Guess I will be one to start with. 

At the end of the day, the only thing that I have is tiredness and sleepiness resting on my eyes for company which chooses to desert me when I need them the most in the night. :(

That bring to the point where I almost forget to mention the retirement of Rahul Dravid. Saw his press conference where he announced his retirement and then his speech and what makes me wonder, is that is he for real? Coz people like that are not made any more. 

To be at such a stature and still be humble and gracious to enough to remember everyone's contribution. Even though he never got his share of the limelight but people in the middle know that he was the backbone of the Indian cricket that they can rely on when no one could stay around in the field.

Hats off to him. Such people are rare and to witness them in action is indeed nothing short of a miracle.

Can anyone please explain why would one have a caller tune that other people can listen into but you cannot when they call you up. Still companies are making a moolah selling it. Don't know who is winning the company or the people.

When a man and women become good friends, is it because they have things in common or is it the beginning to get closer.

If you are wondering the question don't mind them, I keep asking them a lot even got myself compared to Paresh Rawal's character in Judaai.

Guess what, my neice also does the same :)

Day I: Sunday the Holiday

If you are wondering about me not posting, it because I was and am busy more than I want. The thought of posting something always came in the back of the mind but it never felt good enough to write.

Apparently my work has been keeping me busy almost every day almost making me feel that I run the company instead the other way around.

I have decided to break this non communication with my blog and for the next 30 days you will have to bear with me. Yes, I am going to write every day on my blog which also keeps me in the hook as I am not sure what I would write about. Do not take this as an April fool joke :)

Anyways to begin with, like I said people amuse me a lot. The way they act and react in certain situations, I guess at the end of the day it only shows our nature as a human being and being selfish at that.

I find it damn great when I find myself in the company of people who share my passion/hobby of watching movies. I again watched three movies in a day certainly not back to back. There are still more to go and I don’t have the time to watch :( Did watch one today though.

A perfect Sunday means getting up late in the morning. I could not do that as I tend to get my nose blocked in the night due to cold which keeps me awake in the night. Wonder if we could have more of these days. Envy the job of teachers who still get a vacation while people like me working in corporate need to apply for leave to do the same. Where are those days of vacation of all play and no work.

Vacation reminds me of an odd incident in Shirdi where three matured healthy women from a family were jumping lines by crossing over the barriers of the queue to be the early birds to see the god idol in person. It was really pathetic to see that the men accompanying the ladies were not saying anything. All this could happen only in India where truth does not need to be stranger than fiction.

Would really like to experiment living without a television, but guess that will keep me hooked to my PC. Isn't it true that we tend to spend more time watching it then with people around each other?

That will be all for today, will look forward towards Monday, my hangover day of the week………